Discovering the difference

between what is real, a game, and a foundation for life together; for men and women. Words will be added later. For now, the elemental delusion is: that sex is a game/ that it has no meaning other than a toy, or a tool for manipulation or pleasure. That both men and women believe the other is a prize, to be used, presented as a trophy, or abused for the sake of want, selfishness, chemical release, or property settlement. Tragedy and failure are epidemic. The assumption of body is: nothing matters but me/ the tragedy of mind is; "I will believe whatever I want too, fantasy or not".

The formation of all communication is based upon, one of three critical intents: either to lead, by pursuing an enticement by whatever means necessary, to establish follow me. To persuade, by applying knowledge, understanding, and the wisdom necessary to cause thought, and thereby the relationships to a personal decision in you. Or, to simply entertain, and form the basis of listen to me/ rather than think for yourself.

Within the conversations that exist between man and woman, the reality is “either truth, or lie”. Which concentrates itself primarily where sex is concerned. The alternative position in relationships between man and woman is: “that I have only one chance here, to make an impression/ to do what I have to do, to find someone who will “love, accept, use me/ or I them.” The functional difference is: what do you believe?

Truth is an elemental decision to anticipate and hope for love/ thereby presenting acceptance in return for shared experience or expression. Lie is the elemental decision: “I will not love, or be loved/ therefore it makes no difference to me, what happens to you”. These are primary purposes, and one direction or the other exists within the parameter of every relationship between man and woman. Without love, there is no purpose in friendship besides sex, use, or abuse. With love, friendship is a purpose within itself, generating peace, hope, harmony with life, and the decision called sharing or caring as is required or desired.

The difference between the sexual expressions of male, versus the sexual expression of female, in common relationships; centers on the understanding of what can come of this friendship. As a consequence, bribes are placed/ sex and sexual are generated/ compensation is determined; and life decides if he or she was worth this price. The difference in experience between male and female is sorted by two distinct differences: men believe, “we made a deal/ you had sex for yourself too”. While it is suggested women believe: “I gave sex to you, for your benefit/ therefore you owe me”. Men believe, sex is based almost entirely on how long before they quit. Women it is suggested believe: sex is based upon tolerating what men do, so that more important things can come later. Occasionally with love, sex is actually the creation of happiness, because this is life being shared with honor and respect: for both equally.

The difference between the emotional reality of woman, and the fundamental expressions of man: are simply, it is suggested, “what is woman defines her life by the terms created when acceptance becomes a belief, that I belong. That changes to fear, when it is no longer clear that this is true”. Or I made a mistake! What is male defines his life, by the terms created in discipline and the relationship supported by, I am needed/ I am desired/ I am enough here. That changes to sadness, when it is found: “I was not enough”. I made a mistake. The critical reality being: that mistakes are serious, and life has no room for more. Heartache (the elemental decision, I cannot be wrong again) surfaces in both. And the next round, in the fight between man and woman becomes: HOW do I protect myself/ and still find love? OR, some will surrender love, and say: I will use, abuse, and participate for sex; no more friendship, let there be lies.

Of the basic questions conceived by the differences between man and woman/ the reality of war: establishes a singular truth, that this is NOT as it was meant to be. The functional reality determining war (I will take what I want/ and you cannot stop me), is the decision to manipulate and control/ rather than love and cherish. Manipulate means: to participate with lies, for the purpose of being selfish. While control means: to intentionally use and abuse, because you can. These things occur with particular and specific harm around the consequences of pregnancy. While the emotional outlet {suggested} that is woman inside surrenders to the fears and possibilities and questions of what will this man do to or for me/ IF I am pregnant. The functional reality of male understands, this is no simple thing, and the consequences can be severe. Suggested: the emotional relationship of pregnancy, to a woman’s life understands, “this may be something I wish to occur/ or it may be something I will hate”: HOW can I be sure. Whereas the functional relationship of man to his world suggests, life cannot be both ways: either I will be “a dad”/ or I will not. “It’s a choice, for me”. Both understand, this is a decision I must make. Being unprepared means: “I am forced”. Being forced means: “YOU made me do this”; and anger may, or will rise on either side.

The alternate position is: I WANT a child, and I INTEND to get a child regardless of your interest or desire/ MINE, MY WAY, or leave. The critical force being: if you want, what I provide/ then you must obey my rules. This often results in negotiations: THEN give me this. Which usually lasts only as long as is necessary/ and “the contract ends, because I say so”. No more negotiation or rights.

The sexual fantasies of both are similar: all sex without any consequences. Using or abusing someone else without cost to yourself. The functional requirement being: “If I could just get more/ then I would be happy”. Or if someone “extra special pretty or handsome” were to have sex with me/ then I would be special too. They are fantasies for a reason/ [the reality being a game for nearly all, “I can/ I win/ I did”]. That reason being, the assumption that sex can make you happy/ it cannot. Only love can honestly do that, and if there is no love/ then there is no true happiness either; its just a chemical exchange. And chemicals can only initiate a response; they cannot make you happy. Even so, we DO NOT own each other/ we ARE NOT property which belongs to the other; and reality says, “its your own life/ your own body/ and your own mind that will choose”. Payment will be made; but if not by you/ then you live a lie. Love is a choice, a decision to participate in acceptance and truth for the sake of friendship as is based in the honesty of I CARE about you/ the reality I choose to ACCEPT you in my life/ and the certainty, that I WILL SHARE with you the blessings and especially hope of respect for you, in me. But you must participate “the same”, for this to be true.

Some ask: WHY do some choose hate/ while others choose love/ while still others, WANT both? Strictly limited to the consequences of opposite sex, as male and female: the question is more personal, for both. Simply, WHY do you exist? The answer to this question dictates the response of one life, to a member of the opposite sex. That life must then state, to him or herself: WHAT IS TRUE about me. It is a demand, that forces those who have not faced their own truth, to find an answer. Hate is a truth, but it desires destruction and fear for you/ it is an answer conceived, a reality known; or there is not true hate. Love is a truth far more serious/ it surrenders control to truth, and that truth then builds the steps upon which we encounter each other in our own journey called “being alive”. Alive means, “I have searched, and found a purpose in my living, a desire in my heart, and a soul that reaches for love beyond all other things.” Those who face the truth, that they have run away from themselves, have hidden themselves from their own reality; most often run back into the darkness, so they don’t have to change. Consequently, they turn from life to death/ from hate to love/ from you, to without you in the endless circle of failure; that is a life without its own journey, or its own certainty, about the identity I have chosen to be. The need, the emotion, the hopelessness, the reality of all things will rise and fall as time and consequence demand: CHOOSE. The failure to choose, “is a death”.

The discipline that brings a long term relationship to both is, respect. The failure of respect: “To appreciate the reality of my life, in yours as a blessing worth appreciating honestly/ and where it is true, with honor”/ failure means: I no longer care, because I no longer believe, “you, are a person that is worth being with me”. The passage that matters most, between man and woman is, between hearts. The composition of that as an existence is:

there are a "thousand maladies (consequences born, because of others)", in the reality of man and woman. Relationship means, "accepted, even when I am wrong/ so long as once proven true (IF this is important), an honest and true attempt for change is made. Free, to be the expression of myself/ because you are free as well; no judgment will be made."

Tied together, the maladies of men and women must then be born by every relationship/ while respect granted and conceived by love, WILL become change over time. Free, is the understanding of a purpose beyond the dimensions of what belongs to you, to describe what belongs to me. Free, is the desire to understand the foundations of who I am, so that the identity in truth may honestly be formed. Free, means: to be granted the environment within and without, to express and experience life. Respect alters that to establish and create relationships based upon the disciplines: to be free together means, YOU have rights and expectations too/ YOU have needs and desires and purposes beyond or as part of my own. Shared then becomes, a happiness created/ because we join in honesty as the creation of ourselves, one life shared/ because caring is true. Or more simply: I did change, I did respect, I did seek to understand so that love may grow stronger; and so did you.

When it is impossible to be free, it is impossible to create the steps required for love to shape and define our relationship. Freedom exists to prove and describe the formation of who we intend, or desire to be. Without true freedoms, there are chains/ the needs of one, which control the life of another. In every aspect of any relationship between all people, the reality of being "free enough, to be wrong IN SIMPLE NON-VIOLENT THINGS"; creates the possibility of communication that will become "the essence, of our time together". If we cannot be friends, even though you disagree/ if we cannot find the trust necessary to conceive of working things out, by listening, caring, or sharing the possibilities of knowledge and understanding/ then we cannot pass beyond the simple truth of separation as bodies of life. Or more simply, love cannot join us as true companions in this journey toward eternity. "The door, beyond this moment, this level of love, is then closed".

But the reality of only one leaving access to truth and trust open is: the other will then steal, or you will give to them a part or piece of your own self, to do with as they choose. NOT yours anymore, lost/ because it is literally given away; and you must then rebuild for yourself. BE CERTAIN, this is what you are willing to do/ because it can be "a harsh awakening". Protect and defend/ never give away, the most scared love of your life: that is from GOD . And it cannot be rebuilt or replaced/ it is yours alone.