The distance between us.
It is few and far between, that do not know what loneliness is. The net, or primary cause of this is: isolation/ a lack of caring, from one side or both/ refusal to share the basic elements of life/ disrespect and its reality of choices/ foundations which lack honor/ discipline lost/ and “shopping”.
To define loneliness, is to understand the basic premise of life: “we are individuals”. That means, no matter what we do, it is fundamentally certain: that we are subject, to our own decisions, desires, ways, and means of living. That we will die alone, even if surrounded by a crowd, or a loved one; and we must, because it is truly fundamental to our eternity/ that we leave this world behind, entirely. So the price of loneliness, is a preparation for that event.
We begin to understand the basic realities of life itself, when we comprehend the values of being “loved”. It is love “as a simplified concept”/ that grants all the elements which make life worth living, and give it joy. Therefrom it is love, that refines loneliness into a participation intended to complete the task, of gaining access to those who can make us happy, and give that value to both life and living, in each. In contrast, the only other real choice we can make is hate: survival is simple in and of itself. To choose hate means: instead of isolation, those who choose it, want to play god; therefrom accessing life, but reducing that life to a toy. Only lies keep hate from being isolated, therefrom every lie is an indication, that hate “hides behind the door”. Hate is worthless, other than proving a more intensive desire for truth, love, and respect should exist.
Even so, it is essential to mental health, that we undertake the responsibilities required for companionship, partnership, romance if we can, discipline so that order controls our future, happiness as is a description defined by freedom, and the principles of love that do include sexual relationships if we desire it so.
So, lets talk! We begin with isolation itself, to understand the basic truth of humanity is its beginning in the womb of woman. Which means after about 40 days or so, a recognition that “I, am not alone” does exist within that fetus. It is birth, that separates us from our mother, and that relationship “togetherness is”. The exact relationship cannot be comprehended, unless by woman/ and probably not even then, because it is more complex that expected. So we begin our isolation by separating from the most intimate experience of our lives. That value lost, cannot be replaced: therefore unhappiness begins, unless there is true parental care. The value of intimate parental/ honest human participation in the life of every newborn especially, CANNOT be underestimated; as this forms the base of every relationship that will come later.
So we ask: what is the value of those who come later, as we create our independence, by understanding “life is secure/ I need not be afraid”; as a baby. Those who cannot accept this as fact, do have a hard time coping with their reality; tears, etc! Fear is the most desperate of all emotions (to believe, I have been caught in some form or fashion, and cannot get away). Later in life, females in particular use this emotion, as women training to create a variety of scenarios, for which men must react or act in order to sustain their position. But that is “down the road a bit”. When life is secure, everyone is a potential friend bringing happiness, and hope into life. When life is filled with fear, dependent upon the levels of that fear and its expectation “from experience”: every living thing is a potential enemy, bringing chaos, if we befriend them. With security, comes caring. With happiness, comes sharing; because to be friends, requires you to extend that friendship as reality allows. With fear, comes disrespect/ ridicule/ bullying and so on: because keeping everyone or most, from getting close, means “no enemies here”. Therefrom the training we receive from infant to childhood, prepares us for society, and our lives: by or for either love or hate. What we get from experience matters/ what we received in the womb as preparation for entering time, also matters. That however is more complex than I can define.
Sharing is the essence of all friendship. Without time to share, there is no element of trust. Without trust, there is no element of love. So to experience and express friendship, it is necessary to give of ourselves the time required for participation in each others lives. It is necessary, to give of ourselves work and resources to sustain or create a reality of “equal” between us. OR, you cannot “give me everything/ nor can I you”; because that is not friendship; it is buying your participation. You can’t buy “love”/ every potential friend, is a reality of love first created, by the trust we shared. Sharing means: we give each other, the value of our lives, for the simple purpose of making each other happy.
In contrast to love and friendship, are all those who wish to make us “less than we are”/ by all forms of disrespect. Disrespect means: a refusal to accept or honestly appreciate the value “I or we” provide. Respect identifies a reality of true substance, a value that is more than we could have or did create for ourselves/ therefore it is an indebtedness. But respect exists, because we were not required to pay for that debt/ it is a gift. Just as life itself is a gift, that makes every living heart: equal! Disrespect hates the reality of being equal/ because it removes the toy, they intend to play with. Consequently hate chooses disrespect to identify their decision to measure; and create or enlarge a distance between lives. Therefrom, “farther away means/ I can measure you as worthless to me: and throw you away”. Whereas relatively close still, means the possibility exists, “that I will not judge you”.
Honor is: characterized, by removing the internal walls, that divide life from itself. To have honor then means: “the light of your soul, the value of your heart: shines through”. To dishonor oneself is then in contrast to build walls, so that no one can enter, neither the life, nor the value of your existence. Dishonor means: I have cloaked myself in darkness/ so you can’t see, the reality of me.
Dishonor is a discipline lost. Because there is no order, when there is no discipline. That opens the door to fantasies. It exhibits failure in every decision to some degree. The constant of dishonor is a rejection of life and living; which then buries that individual in loneliness, and becomes an avenue for hate to intervene in their future lives. When we guard ourselves “part-way”/ letting a portion of our lives be visible while hiding the rest: it means we have “created a shadow” within ourselves. It is that shadow, which allows for elements such as voices, addiction, emotional upheaval, depressions, and insanity to take hold. Shadows hold a wide variety of participants, or potential participants; if you “have a big one”. Each is a choice. Consequently to choose a better life: each individual must find a way, to open themselves back up, to life, and a future called friendship.
There is shopping, both men and women do so/ but women do it more. Children also shop. What it means to a child is: with limited time and energy, you cannot truly be friends with “everyone”. Because if you are, there is very limited time for those you would choose to be your “best friend(s)”. You have to choose, if you desire intimacy: IF allowed. NOT BECAUSE the others may or may not like you; but because every person who is a friend “TAKES TIME”/ and even possessions, because sharing and caring; is required. Those who have not much of time, caring, or sharing: choose only one friend, and attempt to control that person for themselves. Which imparts manipulation, temptations, and control, into that relationship. That is not friendship, it is shopping: I bought you”. Men and women do the same, but they add in: “I want, what I want”/ therefore who is going to give me the most of what I want, in this our potential future?
To refine loneliness, into individuality, means: what we choose, creates our future. Even tiny little decisions, can change a direction, and define an entirely different life as that path enlarges to become a road of more than self. Or more distinctly, each decision is a distinct direction for your life. When you accept or initiate a direction that is different than the values of your heart (the place where love begins)/ you will encounter all those who live where you now go. It widens the choices we make to include “what these want from life too”. So then to be friends, people who have love, demonstrate that love (for you) by participating on the fringe of hate. It widens the experience of life: making it possible to see for yourself, “a life that is both love and hate”. A reality many prefer/ but with eternal consequences. Because love and hate are opposites, they cannot travel together anywhere: but a lie.
So the quest for life and living is two-fold: to attain love, and deny hate. Those who fail, end their lives in tragedy. That fact isolates life into a path that is determined to succeed in love; for all who are called to that life. For all the rest, “its life, within the herd”; herds are only a participant in time.
So let’s ask: WHAT is the truth, regarding love, and why do so few find what is truly love expressed, experienced, and identified as “joy”? Truth identifies what can be trusted, without doubt: it is a law. Love is the essence of life itself, identified as a participant which cares and will never betray or lie/ will always assist, when it can/ and becomes “the home” of our heart and soul inside. Therefrom love is the element known by what we create within ourselves, and beyond ourselves as the moments we share without compromise. No ulterior motives/ no claim of ownership/ true equality between us/ honest participation in trust/ respect without doubt/ disciplines with responsibility/ and ordered existence so that we can survive in peace and with true harmony forever. Within these things, there is joy. Within these things, there is participation beyond self: where love exists as the home we do share. This is intensified, where romance is honest, heartfelt, and true. Sexual relations from there: know the meaning of “WE are, ALIVE”! Few are willing to participate/ because most, claim a small portion of that kind of participation as a trophy; and run away. Because they cannot face, the reality of being that open to life: the walls are simply too hard to tear down/ so they sabotage relationships, to hide! It is a tragedy, in more ways than one.
Unfortunately, those who know what they have lost to hide; are very vulnerable to hate. BECAUSE YOU SHOWED ME, what I don’t have/ I hate you. Because you made me aware, of what life could be/ IF, these were not “such cowards”: they choose violence. YOU CAN’T have this either.
