It occurs to me, that probably the best thing
I can do for the majority; if we do in
fact get “another year” before complete catastrophe/ as is the biblical
prediction, combined with physical evidence: “no sure thing”. Is to aid you in the search for love; between
male and female.
Even though I have dated no one; nor
spent any amount of time with the other sex; for thirty plus years. I do think the
questions of hope, happiness, love, sex, respect, courage, and discipline
remain the same.
So we begin with hope: I want (more correctly I desire) someone to
share my life, and care about me! Want is a disastrous element in all
relationships, because it leads directly to lies. You don’t/ and you won’t
lie; unless you do want something you
believe you will not or cannot have without that lie. In human relationships,
every lie suggests a catastrophe; either large or small is coming. So hope begins with the truth, and multiplies
whenever respect becomes true. Hope means:
“to hold desire for life, with value, through a passionate embrace
shared.”
Happiness constructs the single
discipline of rhythm, that fills life with the discovery “someone cares” for
me. Rhythm means: the flow between us is not only shared, but
conceives of time spent as if one person is moving as two. Happiness cherishes
the passion of a purpose both valued and respected. It is “our expression or
experience” when combined with love. Happiness,
is the meaning we give to life, when the word miracle becomes “I AM, alive”.
LOVE identifies the definition of both
heart and soul: the quest to become “more
than just a life, in time”. Love,
expresses the discovery: I am not alone/
I am not afraid/ I am a participant in family; which means or is intended to
mean, “we give each other the gift of a life shared in or by, us”. You cannot
share a life in time, without committing to that time. You cannot truly care
about someone else, unless you share their journey, and give it your respect.
Sex is a fundamental example of why male
and female need each other. Therefrom we exist, because we needed each other to
become more than just “self”. So the
elemental truth of sex is: can you
share, “with MORE than just self”? Or more simply, the critical task of sex
is: to make each other happy/ NOT, just
you. Sex is a participation derived from, or intended to be derived from: a passion you embrace as each other. Or more simply: if you hold only your own desire for sex (such
as; I want to get my penis, to go off)/ then you have discarded the reality of
your participation with the other, and they now have only “sex” too. Generally unsatisfied,
because love was lost to passionless sex (I just want, the chemicals). Not a
personal embrace/ this is a lust: let me
use your body, or only your body matters to me! The most critical reality of sex is, “that your
life holds more value to me, than your body does”. Therefrom, let us share the experience, of
what caring truly means when combined as one. This expresses both love and
respect, when its true.
Respect means: nothing is more true, than my life is a gift.
Therefore every other life is a gift as well. Therefrom, we grant to each
other: a value which can never be
measured or judged, because that would violate the truth: life has meaning. Respect identifies the reality: I did do, the best I could do for you, &
you for me. Because we cared, and we have since shared the experience of
participation in a committed relationship. That means: your journey is equal to mine/ but my journey
remains my own, shared with you. Respect
enables reality to determine the value most necessary for life to exist; and proceed accordingly. Respect is not the
slave of love/ but the truth of love revealed in what can only be called “a
passionate life”.
Courage illuminates, as passion changes
into the definitions that define order, balance, desire, and purpose. Without order
life fails, therefore we know we must protect that order with our lives if
necessary. The law uses justice to discover its own path. Balance defines the
existence of a choice, that does not defy reality or truth/ accepting the
decisions we make, do create our future. Desire is the elevation of intensity,
the critical path beyond what is limited by time, to the existence of biology. Purpose
then applies, what we can do; with what we must do: for life first!
In every relationship, there must be
discipline. Discipline is the acceptance required of both truth and law, that
is trust. Trust identifies what the evidence will prove “without exception”/ so
that a relationship might grow and blossom into its own true spirit.
In each of these things are the values of
what it honestly means to be “human”/ therefore they are “known to you”. Even if not vocalized or written by you. They
exist in you.
I will add to these a few details, that can
make a difference to your experience as living, breathing, MIRACLES of life! Who
are searching for someone to love:
Be honest with each other, and “afraid”
of anyone who lies; trouble is coming.
Help each other, access is everything in the
dating world. If you cannot spend time together/ then you cannot become
important to each other.
Listen to each other, as communication
becomes the path shared between you. People
do, tell you what they need, what they desire/ they tell you if a relationship
is possible; or time can be allotted for you.
FAR MORE is told, than the extreme VAST majority of people can hear! SO
LISTEN UP, if you desire love. Remembering,
with only extreme exception: “you do
need to meet a lot of people/ before you find someone, meant for you”. NEVER
perfect, but neither are you! Look in the mirror before you reject someone
else; and be fair. People know people;
don’t own each other/ live for each other, and accept life might have an
alternate plan.
Do not judge each other, nor any other as
this too is a reality you portray as “what it will mean to me/ to live with you”.
Never forget, that marriage is intended
to be for a lifetime. A lifetime
REQUIRES the knowledge to accept this responsibility with honesty.
Children do not solve problems: they are a treasury of potential love. That you
have both agreed to share and care for, as they grow: beyond ABSOLUTE NEED. Which does mean, you
give first! They are: Not slaves/ not owned/ not worshiped/ not
given away/ not forced, even to survive:
but loved. As is “every moment
counts”.
The unfortunate truth of both male and
female is: WE don’t understand each
other/ therefore endless mistakes are made.
The critical truth however, of opposites attract: elevates both lives to see beyond themselves,
in each other. It is then truly intended to be a give and take reality for
both.
The bedroom lives or dies, because of
trust. Without trust, the value of your friendship fails; even if love does
not. Without trust, the reality of purpose in sex falls short of desire, and
ends badly: because we did not care
enough. One/ the other/ or both. But do
remember this: you both agreed to try,
therefore you can’t blame the other; you
participated too. Sex is not a trophy/
NO PRICE is attached; you didn’t win. Sex
that expands itself into an appreciation of love, will blossom into happiness/
if you share with truth.
Value is the decision: to treasure the possibilities/ NOT simply a
body, or mind, or whatever. Value recognizes
life, as the ultimate reward for existence:
when two or more share the same reality/ loneliness fades away, and you
become as one. The unfortunate reality is:
to the exclusion of all others/ until the day, when cemented together so
tightly, no one can interfere.
Loneliness needs a friend, that is true
of relationships too. Or more simply, you should not expect to be “everything”
someone else does need. That would suggest “you are god” to them: you CANNOT be/ it is a failure. Therefore understand
the grace and beauty of participating in society, as best you can: giving freedom to each other, without a
price. The question of love, needs no protection: either it exists, or it does not. The question
of fidelity, asks: are you not happy
here?
In considering this further, the physical
realities of every relationship follow similar lines of composition. They are:
It is a matter of discipline, that two
people should share similar interests and similar decisions in the ways they
lead and accept their lives to be. For instance,
if one person is very disciplined in money/ and the other is not: they will
fight. Or if one person believes “let us
be comfortable, and let weight be whatever it will be”/ but the other has a
passion for physical fitness, and desires to always be “ready for the world,
and whatever comes”: they will fight, or
lose passion for each other. If one
wants to succeed in business “tremendously”/ then they have no time for those
who do not feel the same; and they will discard each other/ even if not
divorced. Etcetera, etcetera. People who
believe they want to live in the woods, will not adapt well, to people who
demand to live in “New York city”. So try to “live on the same side, of your
worlds”; or life together will be harder than it should be.
It is a matter of order, that limits
expenditures; even if you both agree/ to
what shall not bankrupt you. Because once
you are drowning in debt, the reality of being trapped: can make one or both insane. From there, all sorts of bad things arise. BE
FAIR, with your life, your ideas, and your decisions: it is IMPORTANT, to be free!
It is a matter of balance, to understand
both man and woman have sexual needs/ some more, some less; but each has a chemical base inside the human
body that demands some type of release. Unless you are VERY disciplined, and
simply refuse. That does leave you unbalanced, in little ways. Even so, to be “married”
means, to participate with each other. That
does not happen, UNLESS you are both happy enough to share time; rested enough, to care about sex; friendly enough, to express an interest; and
dedicated enough to your relationship, to understand “your needs, are mine/ and
my needs are yours”. I was married for
two years, during the end of that time (until the last), there was no sex: because I could not trust her, not to get
pregnant. A fact that was very important
to me, at that time. Balance means: don’t
“simply decide for yourself”/ we are both in this together. Balance means: UNTIL we are safely bonded together, with no
real cause to believe the relationship could fail: CHILDREN, should not be born. They have
rights too! My cause was, and remains in this day: “our world is in trouble/ that comes first”.
It is a suitable reality, that two people
who are considering marriage SHOULD “find themselves sexually first”! Because reality states, “I DO want to be
informed, as to what the future will hold”.
That is a decision held in reserve, until other decisions have been
made. It is unwise, “to jump in every bed”; for a wide variety of reasons. The body
is not a toy, and neither is sex. Moving in together has benefits and
costs: so does the value of your heart. If
it bleeds life, too much; you will
change.
It is an important reality: that men search for women, “which means for
the vast majority, it is important you do not remind them of themselves”. That can make comfortable friendships, but it
rarely ends in romance: “something will
not seem right”. A reality that can be worked through if you both desire it. Sexy
is “definitely NOT male”/ there is no room for doubt. I would assume it is the same basic
definition for female, from an opposite view.
It is important: in the search for friends, and particularly
the opposite sex, “that you are viewed as approachable”. The simplest solution is to wear anything
that invites conversation. Doesn’t
matter what, if I can recognize something we can converse about/ then I can
initiate a conversation, in relative peace “this will be ok”. It is important
to join organizations of any kind that interests you: because meeting friends takes work, and
opportunity. Never reject someone outright, be polite so as not to offend: taking away judgment against you as well. Always
be friendly, always be interested in meeting others: but on your terms, “such as a daylight meal,
at a place where many others will be”. Or
if at night preferably where others will know you, and come to your aid if
needed. Never fear/ but never be stupid either: the world is filled with liars,
traitors, and fools. AS WELL AS, people
who do desire love. RESPECT is an open view, to their lives: so open your eyes, and accept whatever it is
that truth will tell you.
It is necessary, to be able to converse
on a wide variety of topics; so as to
meet the most possible people/ and thereby find the most possible mates for
yourself. We are all different: which means
do not judge, unless the law requires you to intervene. Even then, remember the consequences before
you destroy their lives/ OR, someone else’s…. every situation is
different: NOT black or white.
Never say, “only this kind”/ because that
is unfair. We are all what resources and realities make of us, by our own
decisions: OR exist because of, the
consequences caused by others. Many are
those who have been treated badly, and they do come with baggage. You cannot fix them for yourself/ that almost
never works, even though you are owed. It is that very fact, their pride
refuses to admit too; so they run away,
or force you out. Pride is an enemy, it believes life is a game; which makes you their toy.
Beauty is the result of “perfect
expression” in the order of things assigned to you, or cultivated by you. That does
not mean, beauty is earned in a body:
bodies are pretty, or not. But the people who “clean themselves” of
want, pride, disrespect, hate, and all the rest do become beautiful on their
own experience: it is earned.
Never believe you must fit “into a
specific mold”/ your body is not you, it is merely your home. Criminals can have “pretty homes”/ but that
does not mean, the inside is desirable. In
contrast to that, is the reality: we are
pre-programmed by nature, to desire someone with a healthy weight, a healthy
mind, a happy disposition, an willingness to work, and a respectful heart (we
are all miracles, including you and me). Share your experiences honestly, express an
interest with openness, discipline yourself to understand the relationship that
is forming: and know, with respect: “if you honestly have the time and heart, to
share your future”. Taking too long, with any individual, that will not
stay: is a heartbreak coming. Try not to be that individual. Reality however
knows: some will not let go, even if
they know this is true. Hearts break,
because want dies. Choose not to want. Live to choose, as best you can.
The question of race, is minimal at the
outset; however that changes, when
reality faces the truth of both families and society, making this a hard
choice; unless you are honestly in love.
Children have needs too.
The critical element of every
decision: relies upon what the future
will bring/ either way. Therefrom the
essence of your choice is, the reality of your life; as best you can. Many are not treated fairly/
many more are lied to and cheated/ many more must endure thieves, traitors and
fools. Everyone lives for what they believe has value to them. So understand
what that is, and how that fact is going to affect your own future. Because if you are “just a trophy”/ then the
future has you sitting on a shelf, “just gathering dust”.
Happiness is, “the measure we DO NOT give
to ourselves”. Which means simply,
living understands, life is not a game. Therefore we are all winners and losers
the same; except for love. People will
disagree, however reality states the value of a life, is not a definition
provided by others: IT IS, what you do
for yourself. If your life is dedicated
to a true desire, found within a purpose you can give your life too: then you have found your treasure, even if
none exist to share this with you. The value
of existence is: the freedom to
choose. Consequently always remember, “someone
who does live with you: MUST share your
freedom to choose/ MUST have their own freedom to choose/ and you MUST share
their freedom to choose, just like you expect of them. The dignity of life is, “a
miracle, called you”! Share it, care for it, love it, and respect the fundamental
value it grants to all living things; same as you. How is that not true!
