Of all the things I have been through; nothing really compares with the change required: to learn what it means, to be female. Every male decision in me is immediately “crushed with a very serious electrical shock”/ contained by an invisible cage/ confined without exception, into “nothing male, not even exercise allowed”; for the last 4+ years. What is left I guess is female, because it is not male in its conceptions of time. WHY, I need to know, is a mystery? WHY, I cannot have even a tiny bit of freedom “to be me”/ is a mystery as well. Although technically I am still me; reality does not allow any real decisions which support that claim; other than male is so dominant; that is will not sacrifice anything; and must be controlled. Making my experience as life today, an extremely complex; “what now”, kind of living.

Female creeps in, a little more every day. Male disappears a little more each day. The realities of life and living are exchanged a little more each day; but the end result of it all, is a mystery; as it has nothing to do with decisions I did make. This is new; and it is not my intent: rather the spiritual woman who is or has been bonded to my life has desires and purposes which must be balanced with my own; somehow.

Of course you don’t believe that, nobody expects you too. Instead I am fundamentally writing this for me, as a description which requires review of the evidence to assess what is true, for me. To form an incorruptible conception of what is real, so that I do not fall into any form of “abyss”; thereby protecting life from lies. What is real is: I search for life, in the elemental mist of a clarified truth; to examine the distance between time and eternity, without the interference of humanity or its expectations. I chose to enter, the spiritual world of female/ after not being invited to cross over the “great divide”; that separates time from eternity. SIMPLY, “not my choice”/ not yet done here in time. Which leads me back into this world of time, where reality by the evidence will prove extinction is coming. Without doubt or question.

This is: “the best men did do”; and their leadership is ended; because all they have left in every situation of conflict is war; war now; ends life on earth. So they cannot rule; after a ten year search, the evidence is overwhelming male cannot keep this earth alive. That leaves only female, as a substitute form of leadership. So I searched, and I found the spiritual dimension of female; and I opened that door; expecting “perhaps, I could just ask a question; staying outside; so as not to enter”. I was shoved inside instead; and became trapped by the spiritual truth: UNLESS you understand what you have entered/ you shall not escape this truth. I do not understand; “it really is like the title; women are from venus/ men are from mars”; they just meet on earth. COMPLICATED!

Even so, she balanced me; and I finished my work here on earth: but it seems she has plans and work; that I do not. The end result being a fight/ which resulted in her taking charge; as she is distinctly stronger, by controlling more elemental forces than do I. The spiritual world is truth, and it remains by being “uncontaminated truth”; and I am a contaminant to the female dimension; and that is A PROBLEM. For us both. Its complicated; no not free to experience or express in their world/ that belongs to woman; and I am not woman; and reality will not let us simply depart. As the law of this world is: UNLESS you do understand/ you cannot leave the decision that you made. I made the decision to open that door/ and she made the decision, established the cause; which resulted in pushing me inside. Now, we have to live with that decision, and its consequences. Even so: this entire world of life depends upon change/ and that change depends upon you learning what must be known to survive; and we both worked together for 12 years without complaint. Until the message was achieved. And in these last 4+ years, the work she intended to do, or needs to do for female/ has been done, but not without controlling me. As I am her physical connection here/ just as she is now, my spiritual connection beyond time. Its complicated; and know, “you don’t understand”/ and no, I don’t care if you do: that is irrelevant. However, today the cost of your failures requires; whatever it requires; and I am simply doing the best I can for life. I assume she is too; as we both owe our RESPECT; therefore duty, as best we can: to the CREATOR OF LIFE ITSELF.

You are the threat/ you are the problem/ you are the solution of change to keep this earth alive. Or its destroyer, as is called Satan on earth instead.

“we”, cannot make that decision for you. “we” can only suggest, that LIFE is more important than what you want/ and the evidence is more serious than what you can allow to be WRONG. Therefore make a decision that is consistent with “being a living human”/ rather than an animal, as university demands. And investigate, to prove what is true/ and to prove what is lie/ and to establish for yourselves: “what your future will be”.

Change is hard, I am not kidding: but in this time on earth, the reality is: LIFE by change/ OR DEATH, by the chaos of arrogance, delusion, and imagination that is mere fantasy in charge. Is your choice? CHOOSE!

As for me: I would never choose to endanger the female dimension of life itself, by corrupting it. And must find a solution, I can live with too. ITS COMPLICATED.

WE BOTH, need a solution WE, can live with!

It seems most likely to me, that we must stop trying to be “the same”/ as that is impossible, without destructive changes that would ruin the realities that make gender differences, the essence of “our best love”.

Which functionally means: to search the laws of our truth, that we may define ourselves and our decisions; by law/ never by wants. Which does mean, “being ALIVE” turns to search as equals, for the values GOD meant for us to have. The realities home, was meant to be; for each as freedoms bring the truth of what happiness can become.

Critical to that change is, learning “self”/ is merely the first part of selfishness. Or more distinctly, the path toward a home we share, will be discovered in the laws, that govern “we”/ instead of me or you. Control is then limited, and the realities of what does become “our law”; will provide what we need for living our lives as one. Instead of “ten thousand, I don’t know: what female means or needs”. We just construct what we do need, to be alive in love, instead of, each alive in self. THAT, fundamentally shapes the future, by changing the identity of both. A shared existence, created with care; defined by respect, but openly free in the spiritual release of joy.

The quest for that, begins; but the decision must be mutual, or it will fail. Love is better than control; but trust is absolutely essential, and any wavering from truth will cause grief (something is wrong) to erupt; and we both know that. This is a compromise, but I am NOT “in charge”.

the LAWS, of being we/ instead of me” have been temporarily discarded. As reality comes to understand: the fence around me, in this spiritual dimension, is not to protect female from me. But me, from an entire world of females. I AM exposed, and feeling naked; without the slightest bit of protection; and have been treated like an animal, without choices. Which is apparently how women feel, when surrounded by men; I DON’T LIKE IT. But there is absolutely nothing I can do about it; another consequence of being female in a male dominated world.

“We”, has taken on a very different meaning; but it is not as equals, sharing existence for love and home. No respect for my contribution to our lives, is all I can find. Even love itself is being questioned: does love survive, a life without freedom, respect, being valued? Does hope remain, in a world where I have absolutely no opportunities to change this? No possibility, to even say “NO”; and be heard? Does not every female truth have her own consequences; can I even be protected? I remain in time, as a physical form of life; “I DON’T know what the spiritual world of female is”; or what it can do to me, or anything else”. It is a very different world, which I do not understand. The hour glass figure of female in time, is thankfully not me; old/ ugly/ lots of you don’t want this; so, I guess I am safe here. But it is not a comforting thought, of what my future could become. The question of eternity itself, is then composed of the potential; which simply cannot be known, “until we arrive”, and go beyond truth. Truth which is the environment of an entire spiritual dimension; has consequences. What is beyond truth and consequences, becomes eternal; and while I can ask for that; ONLY GOD can make it my home.

So, beyond this time, is the spiritual world of truth completely safe? Apparently not; after all, every truth has its consequences; as proven in time, every truth is not safe to life. Making existence itself, even more complex: “like it, or not”. No, I cannot promise you anything about the spiritual world other than it is truth, and nothing less. Which means you must be truth to survive there; and all lies will be removed; simple as that. But beyond no more lies; I found an environment open to every kind of search for knowledge that exists within the realm of thought. Safe so long as you understand. A potential tragedy if you do not. MERCY MATTERS.

I suppose there could be “good things” about living in an entirely female spiritual world; but I cannot imagine any of them starts out with being treated like an animal, or needing to be enclosed by a fence without options or defenses or rights. While religion offers, “believe what you want”. I only respect truth as the reality of life beyond time. Truth elevates or ascends into love, as the essence of life itself; but life survives by truth, obeying the laws that keep all life ALIVE. Therefore respect for LOVE constructs an eternity I wish to survive in. While truth is a vessel, that replaces the body of time. I know not, what true or critical change means; I will remain with love first. I will trust in GOD first; no matter what.

So, lets be simple, and avoid personal change for a bit; reflecting on the question of life beyond death instead. Because the end result is: “YOU, don’t want to participate in a fight for life or planet”/ and without participation this earth and all its life is going to die; so I need not be “too severe” in controlling “you can’t kill this world, beyond this moment in time/ because of what I tell you”. Your extinction becomes more certain each day; and you accept no value; as your judgment to refuse a duty; that is life itself. So, laugh; ridicule; destroy; be arrogant; or whatever it is: as I cannot greatly care, for those who don’t.

Nonetheless, for the few who do care, and at least try to give life or planet a chance to survive; “let’s talk” a bit.

There are questions associated with life/ just as there are questions associated with death: the difference being as is the evidence of our world in time. That life is disciplined/ ordered/ balanced/ respected/ identified/ governed by truth if it survives/ and forms around trust, to establish love, value, hope, and courage. While death is clearly the example of chaos/ destruction/ violence/ and even hate, as it forms around the cost of being in time, which is death (this cannot be eternal, it is measured/ and then judged). Leaving each one with the decision: will you search for life, the essence of every miracle called a body of living existence/ or will you throw life away, because you know it ends in death; and want all you can get, right now. The answer demanding of you: WHY, to either direction?

The vast majority, choosing death as an animal (all I want, is what I want now; give me everything); who are now following university as their gods; all shouting, “because we know”. But when questioned for why: they scream “evolution”/ the single most ludicrous lie, ever indoctrinated into the masses (even the witch-doctors did better; to your shame). Evolution says: “born of chaos and accidents over billions of years/ one piece at a time/ without the aid of thought, or tools, or anything; its all just magic”. And yet religion could not contend; but joined in, instead. To their shame.

LIFE IS: BUILT BY THOUGHT; as any investigation based upon truth will prove true. Thought alone is complex/ chaos alone is the destruction of everything complex: LIFE IS COMPLEX. And that all by itself proves which one is in control over life/ and which one is in control over death: so the universities choose death; as do the majority. And I have decided not to care anymore; it is your choice/ your eternity; not mine.

The universities scream: you can’t prove life exists beyond this world/ we are gods here; and will prove it, by making evolution come true. So they are very busy injecting chaos into nature; so that chaos then brings something else to cause: the “death of nature”; as will be their result. Adding in, the death of atomic stability/ ignition of nuclear fire just like the sun/ end of all sustaining chains of life/ destruction of all planetary systems supporting our existence; and so on. All hail the universities as god (old world religion calls them SATAN: destroyers of a world). New world religion calls them god too; and bows down so they cannot see life beyond death.

Nonetheless reality does not care; because truth does not care: it is, what it is/ and your truth is extinction will execute you soon. Because that is what you chose; so again, I have only concern or desire to shape the future for just a few; who have survived as love changes us all. The respect for life, even all life; includes true respect for our CREATOR. If that is you; then I write for you.

So, let’s consider the elemental essence of life as a form of energy, which can then be transformed into “something else”. But in order for that to happen, what is life must achieve an identity (something which holds this together in an established boundary/ which by its own decisions establishes the limits of truth; that I am here). Do you have a distinct identity, shaped by your own truth; because nothing less can survive past time? Every decision you make forms the direction of that identity/ and it is chaos to you; when you try to live as love and hate. Causing you to fail truth; because opposites are at war here; love does not live with hate/ as hate always tries to consume love.

Even so, the critical question is: what and how does energy in any form of organization become a life/ and what is time, if not simply a body?

We begin with the “hourglass, female form”; to explain: this is an elemental sign or description, of how life begins? Because it depicts the energies of formed by two distinct definitions of existence; that are reduced in their expression of that energy to meet in the middle; where “the balance” of life does begin. “in this world too”.

The energies of time are: kinetic (pushing; the movement of mass/ heating, the release of boundaries); lets call that the male part. And dark (reduction of mass/ pulling back, on motion; the grip called cold). They are not “friends/ but opposites instead”: however time itself does not exist, until they are joined as an atom. A fundamental tool used to create distance. Distance is measured, and measurements are “time expressed”. Heat and cold combined as an atom; are formed in extreme disciplines on a universe scale; with exploding stars at its core: revival of time. Or more simply: an atom contains kinetic energy, as is proven by an atomic bomb. Therefore the energy itself is contained by boundaries which limit the loss of that energy; which requires a balance to achieve/ or the energy itself simply escapes “into space”, and dissipates into nothing. So we know there is atomic balance/ we know there is an extreme energy contained within an atom/ and we know it is not magic “as you universities contend”; but is in fact the spin of the atom which contains that physical energy, which can be released; by “harvesting a tiny bit of speed” from that spin as is electricity. The balance simply: is dark energy holds the atom together. Lets call that the female part. These are the basic elements of time.

But now let’s look beyond time; to assemble the construction of force. Or more distinctly the creation of energy itself; as is consistent with life.

Force is not a motion, it is a dimension of existence created by the separation of space into the parallels of what can and cannot express truth. Again truth is, “what it is”/ and has no bearing on want or anything else; it is, what it is. Which applies force by the laws which truth then creates. Truth however only exists as a description by thought/ and thought only exists by the directional movement of truth. Which does mean: until some form of life identifies movement (force organized), truth cannot be found, until it is disciplined, by the balance of what is, and what is not. FORCE IS: WHAT SEPARATES, the existence of an energy “called cold (dark)/ and the energy called hot (kinetic)”. If they were not separate, they would not exist/ or they would have destroyed each other. Therefore: Before time was created, these were separate parallel environments; and formed chaos without discipline; the vortex’s without order, and violence which fought; but could not meet or touch; until balanced; because they are opposites: therefore force kept them apart/ so they did not destroy each other. As would wreck “a universe”.

We now have the essence of force, explained as a question: “what kind of force is needed”/ to create and sustain a universe of respect: as both forms of energy, “live here” in a balanced state of existence. Or more distinctly, what is life itself? The distinct answer is: life is the result, of a balanced state in existence, as energy controls the identity of what can, and what cannot become; as life is this. This balanced state results from both “hot and cold”; shaped into a parallel existence; as constructed by force separates, but controls the contributions of one to the other. For simplicity, we can describe this as “male and female”. The element of thought arises here, as the destiny of shared space.

We then remove time; by the destruction of an action or a reaction is no longer apparent; and find the identity which lives with force. It is fundamentally conceived as the essence of love; as is joined, but not controlled.

Something for you to think about; as I ponder my own state of existence.

life exists, in the balance of forces, where reality provides the environment only truth sustains. Yes there is more than one type of force.

I am reminded: that my spiritual existence is now entirely “as the only male” in an entire female dimension/ and I will not be making any laws, or any rules, or deciding anything female does not allow. Causing me to feel “upset”; as it is my only option. Reminding her, “I only opened the door to this dimension to ask a simple question”? She reminds me: many are the women who simply did the same thing/ and suffered consequences far beyond what they could have expected.

while you can hear none of that, I truly don’t care/ it has nothing to do with you; but seems required that I tell you anyway. Or more simply: the alterations in my life from “I into we/ but not simply me”; is not less than life changing/ a commitment that goes beyond time. And I am reminded: the spiritual world does not allow for “90% yes or no”/ but requires the entire 100% no turning back, no running away distinct decision that is “truth identified”. I have no idea, what the final impact of that is going to be; but it is perfectly clear, I am no longer the driver in this vehicle called a body of life. “its complicated”; we now share a body and a life on earth. We are compatible, we share the same purpose and desire; however design of disciplines and order, are not yet properly balanced.



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Jim Osterbur

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