religion and me


Religion and me.

Being “visible” allows for conversations, which allows for gossip (a parasite used to devour respect), which allows for people to make judgments, regardless of the facts or evidence: because conversation ranks very high, in terms of whether people feel connected, accepted, or disrespected by one another or not.

Regardless of whatever I would tell you, the gossipers will make their own conversation; because ridicule is easier, and simpler, than life.

I am NOT a religious man. Simple as that! I am not a believer in religion/ because religion is about believing whatever you want to believe; and I don’t accept that as true.

I DO have faith in GOD (our CREATOR) AND JESUS (the evidence of GOD, the proof we are not abandoned, by our CREATOR).

In terms of faith, the essence of it is truth OR don’t believe, accept what can be proven by the evidence:  to understand what is true, particularly about the miracles of life. It is not a game. And I do not allow for such examples as “Jesus take the wheel”. YOU are responsible for what you do, what you believe, what you did not do, and why you chose what you chose. There is no invisible hand making these decisions for you/ they are yours; just as mine are mine.

You CANNOT simply pray and believe “now everything will be ok”/ even though the risk you take is obvious, and the reality of your decision has consequences. THIS IS, your decision; and GOD IS NOT your servant or slave to do your bidding, or even protect your life. Because that would be favoritism, and I accept the idea that we are equals. To some degree, this could be wrong; but I have no sustainable proof either way. So it is not accepted as the rule governing the reality of living.

Life, or more distinctly humanity: is about forming the decisions that become your own identity. Thereby what is true, can be used to expand your experience into the spiritual world. The expression of your own desires, leads to the purposes of your own heart. When we accept “I value this”; we create the living heart/ rather than the human heart. The living heart beats to the rhythm of love, because it lives to discover the true destinies called love. These are not for “the faint of heart”.

I have lived at the spiritual edge of existence, for a long time: the places which can take your life away, because you made a mistake. These are also the places, which grant the greatest experiences of what life can be: but that is not why I chose it. Ultimately my life literally is: because of what the reality of human decisions have made it to be. That began with the Cuban missile crisis:  “to kill a world, it only takes a tiny few men”. That continued with understanding the expanding descriptions of threat, that became apparent throughout the decades. It was may decision: THIS WORLD SHALL NOT “die without a fight”/ at least not without a fight from me. Even so, my ears being damaged with tinnitus “sealed that”/ along with a physical limit that suddenly took other options away. THESE I do grant to be, “an intervention, for the sake of this world”; even though I participated, more than I could distinguish was true.

Religion was accepted at an early age/ then formed into “you can’t tell me what to believe”/ then changed into, I accept life is a true miracle, without doubt or question/ then participation with some religious groups for a year or so. Which then became separated into the path that would become my own.

The journey to understand was focused on truth. The decision to value love, as a destiny within itself by truth:  grants the dignity of a desire that is mine, as life. Truth grants the purpose of life to be valued by the decisions that we make for living.

Perfect does not exist; and I have changed numerous times/ in a constant effort to remain “clean of what cannot be allowed by truth”. Want is always a disaster, and we all fall into it from time to time. The last time for me, even though I knew better: was a glue being used caused biological complications that resulted in the decision to have my own gallbladder removed. Being aware that medical extortion would probably occur: I did intend to use that extortion to identify and create the conversation that this trial does impose. My sisters “being wiser than me” interfered; and had control over “trust money”/ so they destroyed that. Proving once again, want is never enough: truth must decide. The foundation truth here is:  that GOD  will deliver this message of change or die as a world/ when HE decides it is time. So there are elements which influence our existence; that are not strictly what we can define by ourselves. I do accept that, but they are few and far between. So stated because, there is nothing we can do, to understand where or what  GOD will or will not do/ because it is HIS decision. Not yours or mine. we are human, and we must live like every other human: by making our own decisions, that will then determine our journey and its ultimate destiny or fate; as the truth we did create within ourselves.

Religion has value, every religion has a listing of disciplines that will aid your life to understanding more than what a simpleton will grasp. Religion has order, which will aid you when confronted with troubles that are too great for you to handle at this moment in time. The Christian Religion will balance your life, by presenting JESUS as the evidence of love, trust, truth, thought, respect, forgiveness, and value beyond what others have done. When you regain your footing: it is time to begin again. On the journey that becomes YOUR TRUTH. There is no “amen (we believe)” in the spiritual world. Every identity has its own distinct truth, and that includes you, if you have found a way to identify yourself, by adhering to a constant desire, as is evidenced by your own purpose proving it is so. Love is the greatest treasure, but only truth can keep life alive. Therefore truth comes first. Thought comes second, because it is the essence of life itself, through its association with energy. The realities of energy are not for this discussion. Love is all that happiness and hope can become. It is an expression in joy (no chains bind me, I have become truly free with love to keep me whole).

Human love is fraught with disappointments. NOT because it is not honest for some. But because want, pride, selfishness, and power intervene; and if not between you/ then as a result of the rest of the world being jealous. Which then results in violence, because you have so much more of what they want; than they will ever find. The result is: people want love (make me happy), and they want hate (make them sad); so they can rule over the others/ and get what they want for themselves.

Want is the foundation of every lie: if you don’t want it, you won’t lie. If you don’t want to hide it, you won’t lie. Pride forms the delusion “I win”/ but only by making someone else admit, “I lost”. The result is “divide and separate”. Power is the reality of arrogance focuses on me; because I don’t care about you. While selfishness proves as in lust: “I can and will take whatever I want”. None of which is conducive to a life with value/ particularly not love, which is lost in each of these things.

Human love between male and female CANNOT BE, “all is fair in love and war”/ as so many are willing to believe, when they want what they cannot have. Women lie/ men lie: to get what they want: it is a reality of truth, drowning in consequences that do have long term effects.

Human love between male and female MUST EXIST, only by the values accepted within respect for each other/ shared work and life with each other, as is consistent with time spent together. Truth explains the future, while trust determines how far love can go, when we share our souls. Sexual intercourse is for that purpose, but only when true love, elegantly show by trust; exists. The essence of shared bodies, is to help each other through the living, “when nothing else” will truly do. The purpose of sexual love, which is rare: is to understand where truth defines trust. Because we cannot share souls, unless trust is real, and sufficient enough to know: we are both safe here in these moments. There will be no “attack”. There will be no excuses: even if, there is no tomorrow. Because life is not a property to be owned. Nor is sex a value to be appraised as “I paid for this”. Love is a free will gift, that can only be truly shared. When you give love away, it becomes the reality of an experience now owned by someone else. Love must be shared to make it “our own”.

I have wandered away from religion; so, lets end with the realities of religion apart from “what people want”.

There are many delusions

  • No you can’t take your body with you, it is not eternal
  • No you can’t invade “something else” so that you can remain in time.
  • No rules won’t save you.
  • No, there are NO herds in eternity: each individual one, is unique; and arrives or dies on their own.
  • No, your children are not your slaves.
  • No, you can’t be god.
  • No, you can’t buy your way into eternity; simple as that.



  • Energy is an environment that need not die/ thereby it is eternal. When used it merely changes into something else. But by containment such as in an atom: it can exist forever unless compromised. So purity is key.
  • Thought identifies truth, and truth can and does survive by laws which govern everything in this universe forever. Simple as that. Thought participates with energy, just like life participates with energy, to give you freedom, movement, and all the rest. So the question here is can you identify truth in you, and let this guide the future?
  • Love is the treasure, of our universe in life: without it, the cause and consequences of why I choose to live/ can in fact, simply fade away. As suicide does hint at.

These three individual definitions of reality are then combined into the environmental possibilities of where does life come from.

Religion wants an answer that says:  “I get to be everything I want to be forever, WITHOUT ANY PRICE AT ALL, required of me”.

Simply not true. Rather you must attain the individual values above, to sustain the freedom of committing your life to the true desire of your living heart. Without that, you can be abandoned. Or you can be moved at a distance far enough away, to protect the purity of life universal. Or if you have been a true enemy of life/ you can “receive your reward”.

The universities and others will say:  prove it is true/ prove eternity is real!

That question is answered like this:  THE MIRACLE OF YOUR BODY, and this world, and LIFE ITSELF; are ultimately the critically proven existence of an “ability to think” so far beyond ourselves; that it is impossible to comprehend. So the question is: were we built and abandoned/ or does   “GOD”   still participate in life or eternity?  JESUS was the answer to that question. “Believe it, or not”!

The reality of that is simple: eternity lives in thought, and if you cannot attain it by accepting truth, as your journey. Then you can’t go!

Thought is not intellect (to assemble or remove traps). Thought is the elevation of law, through the understanding of where freedom can go. Freedom is energy contained within you. Thereby the critical journey involves the trust needed to accept the consequences (either good or bad) of that choice.

Mercy exists: but that is not “up to you/ or anyone living on earth”. Your job, is to make your decision, and identify your love, apathy, or hate.

I suppose, to be fair; I should include the following as a warning.

I studied religion for a time; which prompted my mother to ask, “where would I fit in so to speak”. Without thinking, I simply told her what she asked for. A reality that simply stated meant “she wasn’t quite perfect”. I expected or believed that would mean, it would be best to “clean that area” of your life, a bit. She did not, but instead began to hide/ and has refused to talk to any degree for the decades that followed. It was fear that does this..

My dad asked as well, at mom’s prompting; so I told him, he too “wasn’t as clean or guaranteed heaven” as he thought. Instead of changing for the better “according to the bible”; he increased substantially in pride. Determined to prove, “he was perfect enough”; he went to church on Sunday’s. Demanding as they preach, “JESUS does everything, I don’t need to do nothing; but pay a little money, and attend”. There was no good cause for either response. Pride is a terrible thing. They both took something relatively small, and turned it into a mountain they could not climb. MERCY WILL exist for them both; because my life/ thereby this work, was supported in time. And this is, literally about all of  “GOD’S  CREATION”.

Pride and fear are tragic failures; even so, I am not their judge, and mercy exists. The warning is: don’t be so proud you need to prove “god has to accept you/ cause you paid the price”. Don’t fear so much, that it overtakes your ability to be at peace in GOD.

But the primary factor in their pride was simply: “HE, can’t be someone, whom I should listen too, respect, or accept as educated”. After all, we KNOW, “he is a little different”: nobody else follows. So the real decision is: do I have to accept the bible was correct? 99% all say NO, if he ain’t god (can’t make an error), we don’t need to believe NOTHING. The bible being as close to what is considered reliable, as is possible; is cast aside/ because I am not what is expected.  The real problem of course was: he says, this world can go extinct. And I WON’T accept one damn word of that; so he can’t be right.

So the end result of it for me was or is:  that religion should be exercised VERY carefully, because you cannot predict what people will do with the information given. Even when it is fundamentally tiny, as a need to know. The herd cannot follow, except one of their own. The herd cannot think for itself, because fear rules the world.

In that regard, I remain in the reality that GOD IS GOD, and we cannot know what HE WILL or will not do! We are after all, only human. Stating emphatically that GOD will or will not do something, is fundamentally wrong: YOU don’t know, one way or the other. We are however given to understand that LOVE IS, the foundation upon which our lives have been built; as miracles do prove. We are allowed to accept, that JESUS is a guarantor of love and life beyond the simple boundaries of a physical body. That requires faith, rather than belief. Faith is an acceptance, “truth is truth”. While belief remains as always:  “I want what I want/ while religion is functionally;  so at least I will get what I want, when I die.” Want is the basis of all lies. Consequently, I would caution you, to be careful of what you believe. Truth however is constant throughout all of time, and represents the law that cannot be denied.

As to lessons for life, the seven elements of humanity are important to understand. Seven because they are the four directions of the wind/ the top/ the bottom/ and the inside. Which control the environment of your life.

The four directions of the human wind are: to search for religion/ to drown in money/ to fight for what you want with pride/ or to lose your life to hate.

The bottom represents a failure to accept truth and law are required to survive.

The top illustrates the values of love expand beyond yourself.

The inside is found, as your own living heart, by the desires which are evident through the purposes, and values you display.

As to the living GOD participating in life here on earth: my own life testifies to that truth. But not like religion suggests. Rather all humanity is equal, and I expect no different treatment than any other. Instead, those who search for life “knocking at spiritual doors” are sustained; if they come with the purity of their own truth that is then, a possibility to survive. If you do not, the mental turmoil will be tragic.

The reward for a spiritual life, is a passage beyond yourself. To experience more, than freedom can provide.

Eternity is about capturing the seven living elements with thought, so that the laws of energy will not invade. Freedom translates those laws into the journey inside our soul. The place where eternity dwells.


I suppose, that a little about the spiritual woman and me, must be addressed as well; it is fraught with gossip and innuendo. So it simply should be done: not what you think.

This is, a simple thing really:  I found no answer for keeping this world alive in male/ women would NOT respond to any question that would indicate “what would women do”. As always, they want to know everything about men/ but refuse to tell anything important about them: that is the basis of manipulation, and so its “a secret”.

The only answer left, was to search for and find: the spiritual door of woman. Spirit is truth, and that means, “its environment, cannot lie”. I found that door, opened it “just to ask a question, for the world: important to you too”. NO, I can’t just ask GOD to tell me the answer/ we are here to learn and do for ourselves.

Nonetheless, upon opening the spiritual door; I was suddenly invaded, by the realities of all the trouble and consequences women have endured by men throughout history. It became a battleground, and I lost. Twelve years later, she is now in control:  it is literally like I imagine the reality of women endured, throughout most of history/ only turned around. So I get to learn exactly, what that was like without pregnancy involved. NEVER my intent, but it is not a choice.

She is not as angry as she was, but “I pricked a sore spot, so to speak”; by deciding if a year is all this world has left to survive without hell being turned loose. I would like to do something else, than fight. It was an affront/ it was want, not truth, nor patience; as this trial appeared quickly after making that decision. I found by turning away, that war again loomed as male alone. And returned to what is now my home, intended or not/ because war is no answer. Alas to enforce the reality that I will NEVER be strictly male again:  I have been growing tits. Although I have been growing tits for the last twelve years “a tiny bit at a time”/ they are now growing seriously, and will not be hidden anymore;  “flags, blowing in the breeze” so to speak.

It is a strange life. As to more direct comprehension of the basics that are required to survive here: “it’s a bit like being lost, without being lost”. I just have to live with it. What the future holds is entirely “can’t imagine” to me; completely without a clue! Spirituality is not a game/ and you can’t understand more, unless you are spiritual yourselves. You are not! The one thing you can understand is: the soul is spiritual, once it joins the encounter “beyond time”. The body is not. Which means: they are separate, both here and beyond. What is spiritual participates, within its own spiritual truth. What is body cannot; therefore it has no “religious connotations”. Do you understand the difference?

Reality has proven male cannot keep this earth alive. Reality suggests that female cannot keep this earth alive. But joined together as one honest entity for the purpose of keeping life on earth from catastrophe: male and female will survive. Women will be in charge, because this is the best men did do/ and whether you believe it or not: we do stand on the very edge, of our own extinction.

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Jim Osterbur


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