female

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It seems, that the decision: “yes, I can desire female in eternity”/ which included “not now, to me at least”. Was once again only half right. But truth knows, “it is what it is”/ and wanting something is irrelevant. So, I have apparently begun my journey, into the maze of whatever female is. NO MALE is invited, (other than for friendship or work)/ this is strictly female; as truth provides.

Or, more distinctly: I have woke up, to experience my first “color” today (it was a light green). The male world is black or white, with hints of gray: as is consistent with the male existence of “live or die”; choose. No, I don’t know what color means/ but it came with “my tits seem to have hit overdrive; growing now to noticeable”/ and my life experienced “helpless to avoid it/ defenseless, and without aid in other ways as well”. Both of which, express a tragedy of “where is hope”? But even so, I recognize the change as indicative of women; and their life on earth.

What is critical, or even to be questioned, or even to be desired; is fundamentally lacking.; I do not know. I have hope, but life without defenses has less; so I need to recognize what does have value. “IT IS NOT, male to me”. This is strictly, a relationship in heart: where female identifies herself; acceptance has been guaranteed, and cannot be taken back. But that does not mean; heart does not matter/ it does. Without heart there is no female. Without the color of life, there is no diversity that grants a value beyond time.

Male on the other side of that equation; believe in “black or white” to resolve any question as either yes or no: which allows the male animals; to remove anything they want, that does not conform to what they want. But that presents a reality of “same”, throughout the journey of life/ as diversity is missing, and the delicate interlacing of life and the chains of living disappear; and create a desolate world. Women are the color of a man’s life; and those who are successful in creating a marriage learn to become “delicate flowers, often in bloom”. While men who become successful in keeping a marriage, learn to appreciate what they can never command as life owned by them. It is freedom to search and grow/ it is value expressed in the delicate chain of living a life that is free; which forms the most interesting of adventures. The heart, and time; of being alive in you.

Young women search and demand “safety and security/ build me the life I want to live”: making men their decision to fill that need. I will not be doing that/ as it fails life and value; through the constant realities of manipulation, temptations, jealousy, and more. Female is more than fears of what the future could become. Female is: a quest to be happy, and provide for the others a home, where they will feel happy as well. I do begin there; but without a clue. It really is a very different life than male; as his destiny is shaped by the quest to sustain survival, and protect the chains of living for himself and those he chooses to protect.

One step, “In a thousand mile journey”. Life is worth the cost; or you die.

So, time goes by, and reality proves: there is no solution of substance that will increase the ability to resist “a body doing whatever the body is going to do; it is what it is. And there is no solution of substance, that will reduce the defenseless reality of being a human without weapons. There are several methods of defense that women can learn, or use; as would include what I tried to encourage women to do 50 years ago (but they would not). That is constructed by the basic reality of nature: or more deliberately the use of smell, can drive back an attacker/ or drive them away. IT CAN be any recognizable smell; as would then be attached to “woman or child in trouble”; HELP. Deterrents & markers, however are better.  Incorporated into jewelry, it is immediately usable. People think bear spray is OK/ people think pepper spray is ok; people fail to realize, if not in your hand/ it won’t do you any good. BUT, if you will not/ then you will simply not. However in this day, new additions could be added: such as the electronics which would recognize an electric shock; and immediately respond. As to myself; I am given to understand, that the very nature of woman; is deliberately tied to the fact of being defenseless in large measure/ and how that translates into behaviors that are female in substance and truth. So the end of being defenseless to some measure; is the end of being “as female has always been”. I have constructed the discipline, or been ordered to do so: that is let women write the laws, so that the substance of peace and harmony will rule. With law, women have rights/ with chaos as is war; women have none: it is a strong incentive to be true to justice and fair play for all. To fight for world law, as is by law, we rule our leaders and what they do, or are allowed to do.

Plain and simple; I feel somewhat disassembled; and must wait until that is resolved. IT IS a difficult journey, to conceive of or be forced to accept “helpless or defenseless”; as these are not constructed as value. But yet sustain a greater behavior that is defined by male and female relationship: of which NO male is allowed here in that type of definition. They are excluded; but reality proves, there are many women who do not have men in their lives; they are not less! My education seems on hold, at this moment in time. Distinctly NOT up to me.

So, Let’s review: hopelessness means, I have no control over what this body is doing, or is going to do to my life or living or reality of existence. I may only react to it, as reality insists and I accept; as is the basis of emotion. Men are not allowed to simply react/ but must act instead, or be faced with fears. In addition; being defenseless; means I cannot control what is being done to the outside of this body and its realities within this world/ that is beyond the limits of what I can control. Which means; a force beyond my own causes this to occur. The reality being, I must simply endure; it is not a choice. The consequence however is: many women attempt to manipulate, tempt, abuse, use, etc; as a means of revenge/ that can then begin to manipulate themselves in ways they did not consider. Men on the other side of balance must fight, with forces beyond themselves or be obedient as is seen in war; the other side of balance; is to choose law.

The end result of it is boundaries must form, to keep the manipulators, liars, cheats, traitors, etc; out. Limits must be learned, thereby the ability to assess and accept what is true decides; becomes a way of life.

As for me, it seems the lesson of: “what truly is female understanding”; has ended. The question being WHY? The answer being: “she has just decided to keep me”. A reality that confronts me rather badly; as I remain “without options, to assert or assemble freedoms”. Nonetheless, truth is what truth is; only the future can be changed. I know not how.

Of critical differences: male does not “feel” his body/ he simply knows its there; uses it. Until sick and then it is sickness that becomes apparent. Male does feel pain, and avoids or controls that to continue living as life requires: it does not persist, unless tragic. In contrast to that, of things I do know: is the addition of tits. Which for the last 16 years have been pushing on my body, “for hours every week”. Making me feel them/ feel this body; to the point of I just have to patiently endure it; as there is nothing else I can do. Not pain, simply body (changed), chemistry (tits produce chemicals, very hard to tolerate), time finally I am not affected by the chemicals anymore, more (not exactly me anymore); all of it exists here, and it is you who believe “they know”/ you do not. A whole mixture of things; which cannot be avoided. Add in the other female attributes of body; and it becomes, at least somewhat: “how do they stand it”. Although when tits quit pushing, life returns to normal; mostly. “its a quandary: but it does explain “feelings”.

PLEASE carefully consider this

 And the people say: “he is a fool”/ lost in a world that does not exist. My only real reply is: “you are a miracle”; and you know not how you came to be whatsoever. Because the complexity of life and body and world all commit too and prove by the evidence of life; nothing human made, or created life on earth. The complexity proves by the evidence: no part of evolution is true/ as chaos is the removal of complexity, and accidents benefit no one. Evolution offers “this looks like that”/ by no means proof of anything other than delusions. Yet you believe; because you want to believe.

In contrast, I do not believe. Instead I search for truth, and let truth decide what I will accept or value with the decisions that become my own identity. Truth allows for a complexity beyond your wants or beliefs or religions; but it cannot be found within time. The search beyond time is spiritual, and spiritual means: only the truth decides here, or you die. Therefore unlike time, nobody lies.

So the quest is then to assemble into the distance of life itself: WHAT can become of destiny, as life itself is disassembled into the energy which creates it, and values determine our desire, which then shapes our search.

As to male or female in the essence of eternity itself: I simply no not what that truly means/ as I have no reference; past the point of no return. None return, therefore no one here can know. In the essence of love, that constructed the value known as eternity; biblically “called JESUS”/ as the guarantor we were not simply created and left behind. I accept love grants equal and valued to both male and female; regardless of the differences that may or may not be kept; I know not. But that is irrelevant, as beyond the grasp of time: life is only what GOD makes it so. LOVE guarantees happiness, as best we can.

In conclusion: regardless of male or female, I search for eternity. Whereas by believing in evolution; you, and your university cult; search for chaos. “ITS A DECISION”; each makes unto yourself.

The foundation of my own existence is simply: “to learn what life is”! Not greatly; “male or female or time”; but life. To enable this, discoveries including death were searched (DON’T misinterpret that/ dead is dead; the spiritual world is no game) in an effort to understand the critical truth, that is “human” in us. Mistakes were made, realities did not turn out as expected, changes were incurred, and values sorted out until truth aligns with that comprehension of life and living. Mistakes are still being made/ realities of time are still interfering in decisions I make/ the cost of your failures, still influences my time. But the end result is: the value of life is happiness, without that hope, it remains as merely time; and time functions “as a womb”. So, the real world journey is into love, and love is beyond the scope of those; who can only want, what they want.

PRIDE is perhaps the greatest enemy of all: demanding the release of pride is, “people get to say or think anything they want, whatsoever of you”/ and you cannot refuse them; because that is pride in control, which forms into judgment or power. Both of which are enemies to love; so its a choice, you do have to make. NOT an easy one! Pride controls want, just like want controls pride. Both control power, and power controls judgment, with or without rules.

Nonetheless, nobody is perfect; confronted by realities you do not desire; everybody fails to some extent; to be the life or living you chose to be. A young man helped me a few years ago: thought we would just have a simple “I help you/ you help me” summer; as otherwise left alone. But, I was fighting with the spiritual world; to just say, “they absolutely refuse to change for life/ so let me go back to my own”. “mistakes made, failure to recognize occurred”. The spiritual woman refused; which has turned out, I am grateful for/ as covid, now war: again produced another example of “don’t let them do this”. Life is: what we make of it/ or what it makes of us. Simple as that, but with a twist: life is a choice to love/ OR, it is a choice to hate; because anything less, for me, is just survival.

For the vast majority of people:   you choose want, pride, & power/ I do not.

I will choose to mention: that although the past 68 years, have included some “notable realities that suggest; outside (beyond human) influences”. I NEVER consider these an element of “GOD, does this”; who am I to say what GOD does? Answer; absolutely impossible for me to know/ therefore all consideration of anything beyond the spiritual world (transition between life and death)/ and time as life; is simply avoided, as if they do not occur, even if noticed.  Nope have no clue why I seem to be a bit different.

on the other side of the line which divides us: is the university experts, who tell you to throw away every resource/ leaving the children to die. university experts, telling you global warming doesn’t matter, until its too late to change. university experts, telling you go ahead and poison everything, what does it matter. university experts, telling you weapons of mass destruction are your saviors. university experts, telling you they will “wipe away every tear”/ by mutilating nature itself, by playing god and forcing evolution to change life itself. university experts, never question “a medical billing/ they are gods”. university experts, demanding full control over life and nation; completely ransacking the currency, and stealing every single penny you saved up for a future that no longer exists. university experts, manipulating, tempting, propagating the reality of a cult; who refuses questioning their leaders; because the cult leader [FEAR/ BELIEVE/ OBEY] would then be mad. And the entire septic tank of delusions, that are “university knows”; along with the fantasy, they can help you survive: while tearing down this whole world, “with their imagination”. BUT as you tell me for forty plus years: “you don’t have to believe anything/ and you can believe anything you want”; because you want it. Even if, it means you are exterminated by your beliefs. And so it is, as you chose it to be; with the slaughter house door opening, and the serpents behind you/ demanding death.

These are not gender issues: they are resource and reality issues based upon foundation elements of life OR death/ by your own choices. You cannot survive the choices made/ and you cannot survive, unless you fight for resources; which means war. Your only choice is law, and your only future that will survive is: making the decision to divide this earth/ and let those who do produce the values which support a future; keep it. While those who won’t work for life to survive/ will war ONLY among themselves. By enclosing them with world law and its reality of forces; as is YOU CHOSE.

NO, IT IS NOT; “the best you can be”/  but animals (I WANT WHAT I WANT; DAMN YOU ALL, for not giving me what i want);  results of pride, judgment, and power: cannot be “the best a human can be”.   Learn to be human, and accept the values which do sustain life and a future by the foundation of truth, real law, and respect. OR, divide before war consumes you all.

Animals, because you play the rich man’s game: of liar traitor failure fool thief cheat whore, terrorist and more that is competing to become “the winner”/ as the reality of these games lead you to war; every single time. INSTEAD OF limiting capitalism; so that all receive a fair recognition of work and realities defined by resources which do recognize; the future has needs too; as is the truth of every child. SEEK JUSTICE, AND REMOVE POWER; so that life and living can be FAIR. Then, you are, or can be human; because life and living are more important than want, pride, or power.

Young women are responsible for at least half the world’s trouble as well; because they “want, demand pride, and seek power” just like men do. But in a very different way. One or Both exercise failed reality, by seeking children early on/ in this world, which cannot stand ANY further population rise. The list of failure is very long, and unwise; as is “animal”/ rather than human. CHOOSE family (we respect and choose each other, because each contributes with honesty; for what we can be or become as one)/ work, don’t cheat or believe you are owed/ you aren’t.

Yes, I know; as is proof of nobody is perfect. But I choose to remind you regardless of that fact: even though, I can be ridiculed and even discarded, due to female tits growing on a male body. No argument given: “they don’t functionally belong, by the law of nature, therefore not pretty”. BUT COMPLETELY irrelevant; when compared to the truth: your gods of university are deliberately injecting genetic mutilation of all life species/ by forcing genetic chaos, in worship of their ridiculous god called evolution. THEY WANT order, disciplines, balance, respect, reality, truth, hope, ,,,,,,,,and every value known: to be destroyed. So they can call themselves gods; expecting evolution to prove that is so, by regenerating something else. They are gods: its called SATAN; as does mean “destroyers of a world”. AND YOU WORSHIP THEM, never questioning a single word; as media leads, and manipulates you to do, as the cult worshipers of “real world Satan”, that you are.

Or more distinctly: while I search with life, by its own truth: YOU choose extinction, by following death, and fainting with fear, because they made you believe “saviors”. To your shame. ONLY THE BODY HEALS, medicine merely helps or hinders. Men and women act and react according to what they do to themselves and each other; causing the cost and consequences of what people do, and why they cannot escape. Because hate resides wherever the lies allow. So remove hate, and life comes back; it is, “a very simple concept”; but it does not exist, without reality and truth, by foundations of law, formed from respect. Happiness is specific to the values of love; therefore encourage and establish the foundations of that destiny, and it will come. As is, “your choice”.

As to my choice, or lack of it: the question of female in me, continues to rise, not by choice/ but by evidence. My voice threatens to change, tits grow, hair I haven’t seen in decades is growing, other realities as well. Reality searches for what can or cannot become of this; and the honesty emerges, “male and female” are NOT the same. Which would mean, for male to be overridden in me; without “a miraculous change”; the only means of enforcing that change is, “with full control over male parts”. The question is: does male die to accomplish this? Will something be left, or not? As to why; I simply do not know. As to destiny, I simply do not know. From a state of knowledge, led by truth; I was able to construct a path into the spiritual world; which protected me from lies. Once I understood the dimension of male. I now live in direct connection with; a spiritual world of female/ and have no distinct knowledge at all. Making destiny or whatever this can become; an entire mystery. “I don’t know”; sums it up. Nonetheless, I will hope for the best! Whatever that is to be.

Every decision I make as male, is stepped on; “with a big electrical shock”; no you can’t. I do begin to question: if the “sign from heaven” suggested in Revelation 12 could be me; “changed”? If so, it is a prediction of real world change throughout this; human world. No clue; just have to wait: reality will prove what is true.

In the quest for value, what is significant requires us to make our own decision/ thereby disciplines arise, as order defines what can or cannot be done; as the distinction called life will produce. Balance changes our reflection of who we are, by altering concepts of distance and destiny. By changing the values, so that we do see life within a different environment than the relationships we were born into.

The conception of time, by standards called reality; identifies the atom as the foundation of all existence defined by time. That construction of an identity, is formed and created by the existence of two distinct forces being unleashed as in opposition of each other. Because the end result is: UNLESS the atom can be sustained in balance, the kinetic (push) forces will be lost to the emptiness of space; to dissipate into “nothing left”. Balance is formed by what holds that kinetic force from escaping: “pull”/ or more distinctly “dark (unseen) energy (we know it exists)” is opposite. Male is the elemental conception of kinetic energy: while female is the elemental conception of an “unseen energy, that pulls male towards it”. That balance forms time, in both life and mass.

So the question of my life, could be: having escaped the disciplines of balance, to search for life beyond time/ it may be, that I simply went too far. But instead of being lost to space; turning back, has begun to replace what had been lost with “female” instead. It is a quandary; as I know not the realities involved, in a change so dramatic nothing of this is known before. It is hard to conceive of the question: as standing on the “little observation deck” allowed to view in the distance, the slight vision of, “what is beyond time”. But told, your work is not yet done; brings me back. It took all of male, to get that far! There is nothing left but to turn to the opposite view, and find time; is a definition of life, rather than gender. The critical question would be: does “uniting as male to female” function as a requirement: to pass beyond the “great divide”? Atoms require it, as a function of force contained in motion: or there is no “atomic energy”. Life is an energy, but it is also the actual formation of both forces: combined more critically to enjoin as life itself. The quest to learn finds it search, within that description, and without the distinction of “existence”; there is no “I”.

As for me: I feel like, I have become a character “in a book or play or something similar”; who no longer has control over life; but is, whatever the author decides to create. Male seems discarded, to the scrap pile; female does not truly exist (consequently, “a character” in a book, sort of); destiny is isolated into something beyond my description; and I am waiting to understand what this story will mean.

Just so its clear: standing on the precipice of “the great divide”; is the edge of death. Standing on the “little observation deck”; represents “one step allowed, over the edge”. YOU CANNOT go there, unless truly willing to die. Nor can you enter the spiritual world, without a true commitment to the truth, and a real understanding of what that is; by the laws which control this element, “of world”. Neither is a game, only fools enter without true preparations.

I suppose, it is fair to say: that I have been educated, by the essence, elements, and destiny; of all things strictly male, throughout my life, to the living that is male; until now. I have been “turned over” to all things female; for an apparent education, “in the opposite direction: from living to life, that is female”. The question presents: WHY, is it important for women “to feel life”/ while reality denies this to men? Men are given to fighting for survival, while women are formed by society, to trust within the law for their survival. The more trust, the more freedom women have inherited as time. But the question is “feeling life”? The answer must include, a body that generates life, must feel its existence; in order to adjust for that purpose, by design. Critical choices then arise, as life rather than living for self; takes place. It would seem my choices have turned to life, rather than living as well. A relationship governed by your need “to change this world”; so that it can survive.

I will let truth itself, decide why. I have no clue why me? You, need not know more.

This comes with a warning: never believe that you can judge, it is a well worn road to hate. Never accept jealousy as a companion, it searches for hate; and then turns to abuse, used, and violence. Never accept pride; it is an enemy in disguise, as “winner” becomes more important than you. Never let yourself want; as it is the foundation of all lies. Beware of belief: as you literally can believe anything you want: choose truth!

Discipline is a sign of value, because without value there is no discipline. Discipline decides what is important; and it will construct order; whereas order constructs balance. But without respect, there is nothing of value here. The universities respect nothing; and that should be a grievous warning to you. Arrogance is a death wish, as pride is overwhelmed with greed: as is “I want it all”.

LOVE is a value, even a treasure, created on the inside; where it cannot be stolen/ but it can be given away. That DOES literally mean: “not yours anymore”; so if not returned honestly, your life will fade, and your living will be challenged. TRUST is elementally the most important reality in love. ONLY TRUTH builds trust, as time accomplishes the one thing, nothing less will: the evidence of what is real in you. Blind faith: means you didn’t care enough to do the work. Real faith means: you honored life and love, with the values conceived by truth, and built upon the foundation of friendship, only respect can achieve.

Learn judging others, lets them judge you/ when others judge you, the vast majority turn to judge someone else: the end result is, “you lost your friend, or even family”. Judge not, let only the law do that. Forgive each other: because the truth is, without “forgiveness shared: I am, sorry”, we become alone in life; no one is perfect/ forgiveness need not be equal. Care for each other, as best we can. In real world terms: let few see the inside of you, as it leads to realities that benefit no one. As for me: I am required to let you see “the inside”; why, is not my job to understand: I do not know the future of me. Nor do I understand, what that future could be; not my job.

Instead, the reality is: “I feel” as if released to the spiritual world of female now. Allowed to organize the question; WHAT do I desire, if female is the future of me? That does not require an understanding of the chemical basis that is a female body. But instead searches the destiny of what desire and purpose can conceive of in the elegant essence, that is a female soul.

Truth begins to recognize, that as a force which “pulls in”; the critical essence of that conception is, what is pulled inside, becomes a part of my home, as a life born into reality. Therefore only the best of what can be found, is allowed. Nonetheless, the question of male arises; even though that will NOT be “me”/ nor invited by “the opposite of me; as I use to be”. Reality assigns to male, the role of protector and provider/ friend and companion/ lover and hope for life itself. These are then not valued, by the creation of a body in construction; but only by what is “truly female”. When that body is formed, or if it will be formed: the question may or may not be revisited; but it is unlikely to include the relationship of time; either way.

Therefore the decision begins: WHAT IS female? One certainty is: male has no language at all, to identify or define a female set of tits/ these are “absolutely different”; and bare no internal resemblance to what male comes with. Which does set apart body, from the beginning; even more so than the obvious. What is critical is: that male pushes out/ and female pulls inside: the balance of a union between them issues the challenge, “can you share this destiny: that we care as one”? My life pulls toward GOD , and will remain on that journey. But the question of a home, is beyond my conception.

Nonetheless we turn to you; and your quest for values in the shape of time/ the treasuries of love/ and the actions or reactions which provide for hope. One of those is forgiveness; which defined means, there is a tiny level of trust, that has reformed, due to the decisions that appear to have been made. Without that truth of life, no forgiveness is real. As for me; I am just “so overrun”, it is time to “reconfigure” my thoughts: in this a very different world.

Life requires distinctions within the parts, pieces, and relationships defined as participant. In the past, “I loved, the essence of male; because love is a value that lives; the reality of male joined me in time; to accomplish the distinction of what we share as a living expression of time”. Making time, the honor of respecting “the life given inside”. Within that framework; female must be loved as well; because it is female, which gives the creation of male, its experience as time and therefrom the potential to live the expressions of life valued beyond self. But that does not explain female, and it is separate from anything male; and it is a lesson beyond self: to now be required to sustain, the question of what is opposite, when viewed realistically: as a completely different world of experience or expression. I am, having difficulty understanding this dimension; I have so very little reference, to what “parts, pieces, and relationships participate here”. So the question is: when returning back to life, at its core beginning/ WHERE, does the shift from male to female occur? Because we do begin, in the same conception, that will be “a life in time”. That is a journey, and it is not easy, or simple, or safe.

That journey will wait, until I have accumulated enough “elemental truth” to survive. I do begin to question if that is possible? as the reality of change is so severe.

Alas, I am becoming acquainted, with the concept “of more vulnerable” than I desire. The question is simply, what does life need? The female answer is, “to be valuable enough” to be protected from harm; as best you can.

The beginning of wisdom isolates the values of male or female, within the distinction of what truly is “opposite”? As there is nothing so different as life or death; the question of male or female arises with the definition of different, and yet essentially the same. Because you cannot have death without life/ even if you can have life without death. Buried within the comprehension of definition, is the expansion of life (pushing out)/ versus the contraction (pulling in) of death. We then look to Creation itself, and question: HOW does this relate to the conception of male and female; where the need is so elemental for both; that life in time does not exist without the other? My life as male, was distinctly a “walk toward death”; as all things rely upon motion to survive as time/ and all distance covered simply examines the inevitable reality of death. My life returning from the edge of death: is now distinctly a view of the opposite of male: that is a beginning at the edge of death, and subsequently, “is this not then, the beginning of a walk into life”? So, if male starts at life and walks to death/ versus female who “starts beyond the edge of death”/ and walks into life: HOW then does that equate to existence, and what are the parameters of discipline; which forms into human experience or expression? If we meet in the middle to balance each other, in the true understanding, “we are alive”: how does that affect the outcome of time?

I would begin to argue: that just as male ends with death/ the more critical reality conceptually is: male ends, just prior to death. Is not life the important part? Which would conceive as female ends just prior to experiencing true life. As the expression or existence of purity confines us: to the essence of “who we chose to be”. So the question is: CAN that be true? Are we “critically male & critically female”/ or are we simply life separated, but born with a view from different directions; so as to balance the life inside?

Reality refuses to answer that question; so we must set it aside, to construct more definitive relationships; with real world answers we can accept. One of those is: life is born male or female, and cannot be changed on a whim, or a purpose, or a desire; we are what we are. But that, is altered by the conception of me: which is now returned from the edge of death, to see life from a female point of view. Because going forward into death, is the end of time/ turning back; requires the opposite “female point of view”; OR the only alternative is to cannibalize male. Which brings the argument: are you not cannibalizing male to arrive at the female perspective? The critical construction is: only by entering into the female dimension itself, can this reconstruction of life be changed so. Because the power of energy has changed as well.

Critical is then, WHAT can the basis of energy be conceived as; and how is it changed into the completely separate realms: of “push or pull”? I leave that for another day.

So, let’s ask: IF, push and pull are the consequence of energy/ then are they not simply elemental opposites of the same thing/ produced in the same place/ and ultimately equal in all aspects of existence? The critical thinking on that realizes: what is pushed, is NOT the same as what is pulled. Simple as that. But “atomic time” is composed of “a proton which pushes/ and a neutron, which pulls: functionally creating balance” in the composition of time, that can then be measured as “living”. Without a slightly greater force being given to pull: what is kinetic energy as push would overcome it, and fly off into space and dissolve over the reality of, time lost. BALANCE gives the atom time, to share as the existence of energies we can use. So we then owe our living, to the existence of energy held in balance: both are required, to be shared; in order to produce time; which equals as existence called a human life, or the miracles of this planet shaped by energies being controlled with laws that govern our truth.

WHEN kinetic or male push; exceeds “his ability” to survive at this point of departure: only female pull, can bring him back. But this is a spiritual construction, and it is the critical elemental breakdown of time, into life; because the critical energy of “male push” has been primarily used up; in order to find the end of time; and its construction of a beginning to eternity. So the question is: does energy really construct life, or does life construct energy; and how is that interrelated to the question of male or female?

Energy as life is not motion, it is the critical definition of thought, that constructs the values of both sides in the energy we know as time. Thought constructs law, and law controls our existence as motion through the experience and expressions of time. Therefore the foundation of life is thought, and this begins a journey into soul: which is where the formation of energy begins. This is not for discussion; and ends here.

As to male and female; just as “atomic time is a magnetic relationship; constructing balance”. The realities of who we are, as male or female; live within the construction of strength, that then determines what we can and cannot become. The weakest link, so to speak; searches without balance to become whatever does not confront the others, but remains as hidden so as not to participate as prey. The greatest strength, so to speak: is created by balance, and must include both male and female as equals; to achieve the love it creates. The critical destruction of “peace and harmony”/ creates the consequence of hate; whether by choice or realities forced; both time and living are lost to the chaos of war inside.

So, as to me: I would greatly caution you, NOT to search for eternity beyond time/ let the spiritual world come to you; as it truly will, when you die. HOWEVER, I would also contend: after a lifetime of fighting for this world and all its life, the end result of my entry into the spiritual world beyond time is: I was given the balance needed to accomplish my work. To communicate: UNLESS YOU CHANGE, LIFE AND EARTH WILL BE EXTINCT. To communicate: a new life, can be found; if you let truth and justice, lead you into the laws which preserve and keep us all alive. To date: the world screams back: WE WANT WHAT WE WANT/ be damned to anyone who gets in our way!

It is, nonetheless true: “you were told”; as was my job.

As to how; my own future will shape and control the dimensions of thought, altered by the cost of my own spiritual journey: only time, and eternity can tell. I have no clue. No longer up to me; “I seem to be, in the back seat of a car; so to speak: locked in, with women (spiritual female) driving to who knows where”. ITS COMPLICATED, __________________________! and she just keeps getting stronger, in control. NO not as hate; as female in charge of male. NO, it was not a choice/ well it was, but it was not intended to be. Ultimately: I just wanted to ask a question, WHAT would women do, to save this earth? So, I opened the spiritual door, having searched, where only “truly male (the place male and female meet as one life shared)” can go; and suddenly lost control. Into a very different world. No reference to anything male, at all: trapped, without understanding; as is the cost of any decision you will make in the spiritual world of TRUTH by LAW, DECIDES; the reality of beyond time. Be deliberate to your own truth of life.

NO, not transvestite or homosexual (as both of these are warned “STAY AWAY from me sexually”; same as all men: STAY AWAY SEXUALLY: at the cost of your own eternity in terrors if you do attempt it). NO, I cannot enforce that; but be it known; that is the message I am given to tell you! There is NO possibility you will benefit; find a brain.

My truth is: I chose to abandon my living in time; for the quest to keep the essence of love and respect alive/ a world from dying; which ends love, and its potential as well. But you would not listen, and here we both are; life changed want to or not. You to face your extinction comes/ while I to face, a different dimension, a different direction; to life itself.

I suppose: it is functionally important, to let you understand: while the first twenty years or so of spiritual investigations were “about everything”. The end result of that time of life and living, convinced me: nothing men could do, would save this world. It is consistent with that reality; that I chose to abandon you as a lost cause/ and sought eternity instead. Turned back “not your time to end”/ I functionally realized the question: “WHAT, could women do; to save this world”? And began there, to recognize: while men turn to war when they run out of ideas/ women turn to law, as the power to keep peace and harmony in life and living with respect. That difference, is enough to make survival possible: yet they do not care. And the female dimension seems mostly determined: “to let me know, what being a woman in a man’s world is really like”. That won’t save a world! Do the best you can instead, for life, planet, and child.

It seems to me: the question is presented to women of this world, ARE YOU: “like men if given the power to decide over male/ better than men, if given the power to decide, as women in charge/ or worse than men, if given the power to decide, this world is not big enough for us all”? Because other than that question; I really cannot imagine what trading places with woman could be for? But I am not woman; and who knows.

AS MALE; I will offer female this one reality, “it ain’t as easy to be male/ as you think”. And women are not “as pure as the driven snow/ they have problems too”. As is proven by all those who believe they can just “want something else; hiding from truth”. That is NOT me/ but life has its own ways; of facing truth and reality. Its called your own decision.

As for me, from a life, a reality, a future, and eternity itself with reasonable certainty and reliance upon what “I do know”. To now a life, a reality, a future, and eternity itself with clear uncertainty, and a long list of “I just DON’T know”. I seem to have become “a chess pawn”/ why, I do not know; but everything is “a blank slate” to be filled in later. No, this is not a game, as would be pride. No, this is not want, focusing on deceit to make male or female do anything. No, if I was to demand or thirst for power among or because of you: THIS IS NOT the way to do that, “yes I know”. Instead, it is simply the truth; a life suddenly surrounded by mystery; as is “I just don’t know”. Life, and even living: has changed. No clue how it all ends.

Nonetheless, I am no longer concerned with you or this world; as I did do my work/ the job is done. YOU, were told:  change or go extinct/ and offered examples of what to change in order to survive. Whatever this my life now is:  is no longer that. I should focus on my life, “my everything; as needed to understand”/ but I cannot, as the spiritual world called female has control. Its complicated; not so simple as you believe.  Belief is just want focused on hiding what you do not want. Faith, accepts only truth decides, by the evidence which is proven by reality: to identify truth beyond “a reasonable doubt”.

Critical to the decisions that we make, are the evidence of depth, within the values which we accept. Depth is unlike an image which appears “like a two dimensional picture framed on the wall”/ depth is “the shadows reveal the substance”; and complete the picture; so that more than just an image can be seen. Therefore when we must fight with the realities of hate; as with all shadows hiding on the other side of an image that is simple and plain: what lurks can be either “good or bad”. Providing an education nothing less can.

Depth represents the heart, and heart represents the life inside where the eyes cannot see. So heart is the environment of what sustains your truth, and your truth is the environment that controls what has value to you. The curse of university is “a two dimensional picture”/ where they fight to control the image, particularly with media, and education; so you do not see the reality. Blinding you, “with colored lights”; be amused, DON’T question the lies, or its consequence; as is imagination. The herd of animals only want what it wants; and the most it contributes to living is “they want more for ME, damn you ME/ I am first; give me what I want”; utterly sums it up. Which illuminates the pride of a game to get more/ and the cost of that game which is to hate and fear those who are able to take more.

In the quest for life and knowledge, the battleground is humanity itself: because entrained by our own definitions, we must search where value exists for us as an individual alive in the journey to become an identity formed by our own truth. The human animals know only want, pride, or power; but being alive functions to assert: with knowledge, the value of truth ascends beyond ourselves, into the grace of being able to conceive of a life beyond time. To understand the difference between human animal, and human alive; it is necessary to accept the respect of miracles, that are the evidence of this Creation. Nothing less is true; and the intensity of complexity, the reality of composition and ergonomics, EVERYTHING BEYOND THE SCOPE OF HUMAN INTELLIGENCE; all point to, and identify the consequence: that life and earth were created, as a gift to each living thing. That is, the beginning of being alive, in the truth of our existence. Unlike the chaos of universities; and the rotting corpse of their hate: the reality of simpletons without a brain/ whose only true purpose is to enslave you, so they can continue playing god, and making this world their toy. Life or death is now: in the hands of each human on earth: as we do face our own extinction because of what universities have done, and may or may not finish exterminating us all. Do what you can do: WHICH IS DEMAND TRIAL, SO THAT THE EVIDENCE WILL REVEAL THE TRUTH; and we do question the claim of ‘university knows/ university is god”. THE LAW is our defense/ but if you will not defend it; the liars, and those who follow in their cult: win their chosen fate, which is eternal terror to them.

As to me; reality proves a long list of “errors”/ one of which was, to abandon this life: when it became clear to me, “nothing men will do, can save this earth”: their answer is, as it has always been when pushed= war. That fact being male, made me believe there was nothing left to do: so I pursued, “simply take me away from this; I DON’T want to witness the end”. But, that was my decision/ and my decision does not count: GOD decides, and I was returned to this life; but with the gift “women are different/ perhaps women can save life on earth”? So, when I turned back from the end of time for me; I turned to search for women, to ask: WHAT could you do, to save this world?

The female answer: was to help me/ use me/ and now it seems to possess me; without a clue for why. But reality itself no longer cares, as time continues to change the very existence of me into what we can share “as one”. Or, perhaps female is all that will be left/ I know not, as it is not my decision to make. Its complicated! I have literally become “the passenger” in my own body; a vehicle being used to transport me somewhere, for supposedly some type of purpose maybe/ but I have no knowledge of what that might be. And in this spiritual world of female truth in everything but me; I simply cannot decipher anything: no choices/ no rights/ no ownership/ no options; no freedoms unless allowed some small degree of it cannot be avoided. You have no idea/ and unfortunately neither do I!

The spiritual world is a “purgatory” of life beyond the grave; for nearly all. The spiritual world is built upon LAW BY TRUTH DECIDES: or more simply, when you die; unless you fail to accompany the life going out of you. The reality is: YOUR LIFE (not your body) will enter a place where truth will be found, and your identity will be known; without exception, no lies allowed/ no pride allowed/ no power allowed. Being stripped of these things, truth then decides what your individual fate or destiny shall become: by your own truth. TRUTH DOES NOT CARE, not even a little bit/ it is what it is! Simple as that. My association with this world, beyond the initial introduction; has been “perfect”/ until I was forced to turn back from the edge of time; where eternity does begin. The opposite view of life from male is female; “and my world turned upside down”. No going back; no changing destiny; beyond the edge of time, “which that little balcony proved true” suggests. I am captured by the spiritual world; between life and death of time. Truth alone decides; it really is “complicated”/ and it really is; beyond my control, as reality continues to prove: this is “a female dimension”. I was once in a crowded store; nearly all female inside; and they suddenly seemed to appear naked; more distinctly I could see within the clothes. I was very glad to get out of that store, where it stopped. NOT a happy experience, as it was more like standing in the middle of an army, that was the uniform, and I clearly didn’t belong! This is not unlike that experience; except there are no females here/ instead an elemental world, where truth demands “I am an outsider” here; but cannot leave. I don’t fit the law/ and my truth is not female: therefrom “nothing fits” in the framework that must be upheld to insure purity remains true. The common reaction would be “he dies”; but I have proven more valuable than that/ and yet without a right to remain, or any method to leave. “complicated”.

The spiritual existence of life is life/ the physical existence of time is body: the difference is “LIFE is more than a chemical energy can produce”/ while the body is the result of what chemical energy can produce: making them separate, but in time essentially equal. The consequence of that is: when the body dies, the spiritual energy of existence returns to its Creator. If you do not go with that energy: “first stop purgatory (spiritual truth defines you)”/ you simply dissipate into nothing is left. BUT if you search for, and are invited into the spiritual world; by definitions which can go beyond time: then reality will shift for you, and the balance of living is between “truth and time”. As someone trapped by the truth of that spiritual world/ yet living in time; the balance of my existence became owned by the spiritual world which returned me to this life and body as a participant “with a message”.

That message is: IF HUMANITY DOES NOT CHANGE, putting all life and planet first/ IT WILL GO EXTINCT! Along with that reality is: none could consider me “second coming of JESUS”/ HE, comes back as judge: which means NO mercy left! Instead, reality as the spiritual construction of “female in me” precludes that: no issue exists. But reality also provides, it is not without some degree of potential, that I could be “the son of man”; as I have delivered the promised information; hidden since time began. NOT a claim of anything; just a job I did do for life, and even for you. No clue why me/ no clue what destiny for me will be/ no clue if female or male anymore; “its complicated”.

While you argue; “none of this can be”/ the reality is, “the son of man” is to be taught/ or is simply allowed to participate in the realm of thought, that is not consistent with any other person, to achieve that knowledge; described as “beyond man”. I know not/ not mine, educated/ not my job: my job throughout the years, was simply shaped by: ‘THIS WORLD IS DYING/ AND I WILL NOT let it die, without a fight. Even if I did poorly by your standards; I did do, the best I did do; as my contribution to this miraculous world. While it is not “anything similar to what JESUS did do, as HIS job here”. We both did do, the job we were given to do for this world of miracles, that literally is, beyond anything humanity can do. How is that not so? Only a fool and a liar would argue. OR, more simply: “I am clearly NOT “JESUS”/ that would be ridiculous to claim or believe. However the information predicted by HIM; has been given to you; for a new life/ a new world order of reality; along with the job or message I bring, which is CHANGE OR YOU WILL GO EXTINCT. THE EVIDENCE is certain! Reality would prove that true: IF you go to court, and present an HONEST TRIAL based upon reality and the cost of being wrong. Simple as that.

Nonetheless some degree of knowledge does appear: I have female tits, which have been driving me crazy (unable to get control) for 16 years now; hours every week of pushing and doing anything they want; as if they were desperately trying to escape. To the point of “please just be done/ I no longer care”; but no, absolutely no control whatsoever; in out/ up down/ who knows what next. Impossible to even guess.

While the male body has always been under my complete control in every possible way: having order/ being disciplined/ balanced for a physical life that I chose. NONE OF THAT is possible with these tits; simple at that. Life begins to suggest this is the female preparations for having a fetus inside; the body does/ what the body needs to do, for life. It is a strange thing not having control, when my entire male life has been about getting control, being disciplined, and not letting anything interfere with the balance of being male. All of it, “thrown out the window” so to speak. An entirely different view of being alive. Which does bring us to the search for values in knowledge and beyond. A composition of things so enormously different than male; I have no clue where to begin.

This ends the demonstration of competency; and executes the fundamental of it all is very simply this: life will prove, the one true passion of my life has been, “to fight for life and earth”/ regardless of what you believe should or should not have been. I spent my life on that one true thing. Reality would respect that; even if you will not.

Reality will prove: I AM NOT the question presented to you/ I am simply the excuse. Discard me: and accept the truth of evidence, which will prove life on earth will end, if you do not change your ways. That includes: you must choose to communicate as best you can: for trial, in America constitutional law calls that REDRESS/ a first amendment guaranteed right: to examine the evidence of where our nation is going, and if our employees have properly done their job, as is consistent with their oath. Without trial; there are endless excuses. WITH A PROPER AND REAL TRIAL TO DISCOVER WHAT IS TRUE, AND THE COST OF BEING WRONG; we turn back to reality, and assemble the disciplines called we the people. BY YOUR CHOICE; the future is chosen then! Which will include disassembling the cult of “university knows”; as is a foundation required by reality. NO expert/ NO theory/ NO imagination: ONLY EVIDENCE PROVEN TRUE, by real world facts.

Reality begins to prove: as has been the cost of being female throughout history/ I am being turned into a “trophy (you cannot refuse)/ trinket (I now own you, and your body; your life)/ or toy (you are, whatever I want you to be)”. As female now in charge of male: the realities of that expression of life in charge, has been turned around. I AM NOT pleased or desiring this to be true; but as has been the experience of female; I have no power to resist it. As it has been from the beginning: “female truth, the life in charge here/ is angry with men”. As it has been for women; because of men/ begins to shape my world in change. Even though I have proven “that was NEVER me”; she reminds me, NEITHER was it earned by the women who endured their own capture, and its consequences.

I don’t know what is next; but it seems unlikely to be desired, kind, or happy/ as would be, throughout history; the reality of “captured women”. Even so, I am 69 in a couple weeks/ not pretty/ not rich/ no teeth/ half bald/ and literally “not sexy; particularly with tits (they will not leave me alone)”. So it seems unlikely, to endure what “pretty, or too many women” did; “old and ugly/ parts that do not belong together”: seems safe. No part of this work, is some type of “______”/ it just is, what it is.  NOR, is it important to you; as life or death for your world is true!  EVEN SO, the spiritual world demands it:  and she gives to me, all the same parameters of living; “life as female”/ even if my reality is turned around and women “are elementally, to be like men, to me”.  This cannot be more than “tomboy”. I am faced with elemental change/ not fantasy or delusions; no imagination is allowed: I don’t know how it ends.  AS to women: YOU can’t just consume me; without inflicting the same damage/ the same realities as men did to you. “With the same eternal costs” they earned for their own failures. We should be “simply FAIR” to each other/ as would be my desire; and reflects the common desire of all women throughout history. Just because you can/ DOES NOT give you any right.  AS IS THE TRUTH, TOO MANY MEN DENIED    ARE YOU BETTER?

That however doesn’t seem to matter, to the spiritual woman inside. I feel “a little uneasy”; being reminded of that. Everything about being male; is a wreck/ all direction is lost. NO, I do not know where life will go from here; but it does begin to concern me. NO, you do not know: as an endless line of people who wanted to believe they did, throughout the years/ but all were wrong. I live for the values within truth/ truth decides, by the elements love desires:  unless today that too has been lost/ to become whatever female decides.  It seems, I have made a diary/ I don’t know why? Your life is your life/ as is mine.  Survival of this earth demands that you will change or die/ not me.  The evidence of time, will prove what is true; by the decisions we make/ or must endure.

For clarity: my life is about two things actually, THE SEARCH for life, and its dimension of beyond time. As well as the journey, to deliver the understanding; this world shall be extinct/ UNLESS humanity changes itself. BECAUSE HUMANITY, is the curse here.

As to the quest beyond time, for the essence of life and living as it expands into the universe of energy expressed here with thought; the understanding to you is, NEVER open a spiritual door you do not desire to live within. While reality proves, for me: opening the door to what would women do for this world, if allowed to lead/ was both the best and worst decision I ever made. Female balanced me, and allowed for the message to be delivered; as I was lost as male. But the cost of it has been all things male, are being dissolved; by the power of female, to turn anything she does not desire; into “dust”. While you cannot understand a single word of that; the reality itself is simple: the disciplines of energy require order, or these cannot be sustained. That order is balanced into dimensions which allow for truth to become the laws of this environment; and by entering within that dimension which is not male by any form or definition/ I have become trapped, and controlled; by the laws I cannot understand. Female although life seems “almost the same in many ways”/ is absolutely different, in more ways than I can comprehend. Truth is truth; if you cannot understand the truth: you cannot “unlock” the door. I utterly cannot understand female; although some small, “trickle of truth” appears once in awhile/ if not taken away. Its complicated, and she doesn’t know what to do with me either. But here we are, literally locked as one. Nope, not a clue how this turns out.

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